*simply WONDERFUL!!!* ~kmw
Jennifer Hudson makes homecoming concert a family affair
April 26, 2009
BY KEVIN ALLEN kjallen@suntimes.com
The Englewood home where Jennifer Hudson grew up is eight miles from the Arie Crown Theatre at McCormick Place. But the journey from the former to Saturday night's performance at the latter is nothing short of epic.
The Chicago stop wasn't your average show on Hudson's tour. How could it be?
After all, Saturday night marked Hudson's first homecoming as a headlining performer. It was also her first public performance here since her mother, brother and 7-year-old nephew were senselessly murdered nearly six months ago to the day in that same Englewood home where her talent first blossomed.
She didn't address that situation directly -- or the circulating rumors of her pregnancy, for that matter. She did, however, dedicate the song "You Pulled Me Through" to her family members who were in the audience.
From there, Hudson continued to make her show a family affair. She even welcomed four of her cousins to the stage to sing a pair of a capella spiritual songs that brought the audience to its feet.
"This," Hudson said, referring to her cousins, "is where I come from."
Hudson's voice was flawless from the opening notes of "One Night Only" to the final extended notes on the lyric, "You're gonna love me," from "And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going." She displayed the vocal range and distinctive style that audiences fell in love with on "American Idol" and flocked to theaters to hear in "Dreamgirls."
Her stamina was especially impressive considering she's nearly a month into her tour with Robin Thicke.
For his part, Thicke played the part of ideal opening act. Dressed in head-to-toe black with hair tousled just so, he managed to woo women of all ages in the audience with a bit of PG-13 girating. It takes a special sort of man to sing falsetto and maintain bravado, but Thicke pulled it off. He covered Al Green's "Let's Stay Together" and delivered an surprisingly enjoyable a capella version of Jodeci's "Come and Talk to Me."
But there was no mistaking that this was Hudson's night. With her beaming fiancee David Otunga videotaping from the front row, light bounced hither and yon from her engagement ring, dangling earrings and beautiful black sequin dress.
Both literally and figuratively, Hudson shined.
Forget that she's a Grammy and Academy Award-winning performer whose lightning-fast rise to diva status is a thing of legend. Forget for a moment that she's endured family tragedy most of us couldn't imagine in our worst nightmares.
When you strip away the celebrity accoutrement surrounding Jennifer Hudson and see her simply as a performer on a stage, one quickly realizes that they are witnessing one of the premiere talents of a generation. And as with the divas who paved the way for Hudson, those who saw Jennifer Hudson's triumphant return to Chicago will someday tell their children and grandchildren, "I saw her. Live. In concert."
And she was simply sensational.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
blessed to be a blessing!
so today is a great day on so many levels: of course for the usual things like waking up, a working heartbeat, sunshine(!), and family...but also because (*drumroll please*)...i just scored MAIN FLOOR tickets to see JHud on Saturday night...for $50...and PC will be with a sitter-auntie who is FREE!!
yay me!
so, as i was basking in my pre-concert glow, i changed my FB status to reflect the happy ocassion. one of my friends (who is also a co-attendee to said concert) commented on my status and said 'Lucky Girl!' i laughed and replied 'Better than lucky-blessed!" we started dialoguing about that, and it got me to thinking about this whole notion of thanking God for the 'blessing' of material things, without really thinking about the meaning (and purpose) behind those things that we are blessed with.
one thing that irks me to NO end is the sight of luxury cars with personalized license plates that have something to do with God 'blessing' them with this Benz/BMW/Hummer/Lexus/etc. I see them ALL the time, but the thing that irks me is not so much the fact that these ppl feel like God has 'blessed' them with this whip, as it is that you rarely see something similar on less-than-luxury vehicles. did God not bless you with that too? or do you not want to draw attention to your older car--which defeats the purpose of praising God for the blessing to begin with?! we ought to be thanking Him for both the big things and the small things, even if we're not 'ridin clean' (or as clean as we would like).
i remember some years ago a close friend of mine was going through some financial difficulties. she had fallen behind on her car payment, and the financing company was threatening to reposess her car if she didn't come up with a certain amount of money by a certain date. my friend didn't have the money, but she prayed about it and made peace with it in her mind that they were going to do what they had to do. Through all of this, she trusted that if it was His Will, God would somehow make a way for her to keep/pay for this car so that she could continue to be a blessing to her church members--picking up and dropping them off for service, running errands for the various ministries that she was involved in, taking her son safely back and forth to school and to visit family in another state, etc. she always reiterated to me that it was never about the car (she would walk/bus, if she had to), but it was about how she used the blessing that she had been given.
i thought about that today as i was celebrating my ticket. though the concert is gonna be a wonderful time and i'm getting a great bargain, it's not about the material aspect of it. it isn't about the concert itself. i feel blessed for two major reasons:
first reason: my friend and i had originally looked for tickets at the end of February. all the good seats were sold out, so we scrapped our plans. last week, her friend won a contest and got two AMAZING seats to the event. of course i was hating (in a loving way, LOL), but was happy that she could go with her. she kept encouraging me to get on this same contest site and see if i could win because she knew how bad i wanted to go, but no luck. some other tickets came available thru HER friend and as distracted as i was with other stuff going on this week, she kept giving me gentle reminders about these tickets (cause i surely had forgotten). needless to say, i got some great tickets, great seats, and a big part of that is b/c my friend was keeping after me because she knew how much this would mean to me!
second reason: i'm scrambling to find a last-minute sitter that won't kill my extracurricular budget, and reached out to PC's STL Auntie (who has since moved back to CHI). STL Auntie used to keep PC for me when i was traveling to STL for my old job and was truly, TRULY a Godsend. when she moved back to Chicago recently, she reached out to me to let me know that i could lean on her whenever i needed a sitter, so i could have a 'break' from time to time. reached out to her today, and even though she had some tentative plans Sat evening, she is working PC into those plans b/c, in her words 'the concert is something that i shouldn't miss!' and she is happy to help.
so, you see, i am reminded today, that blessings are much more than material items. blessings come in the form of the sacrificial love of friends, through their thoughtfulness and kindness. RLH & KRD--thank you *hugs*
i'll let you all know how the concert turns out ;-)
yay me!
so, as i was basking in my pre-concert glow, i changed my FB status to reflect the happy ocassion. one of my friends (who is also a co-attendee to said concert) commented on my status and said 'Lucky Girl!' i laughed and replied 'Better than lucky-blessed!" we started dialoguing about that, and it got me to thinking about this whole notion of thanking God for the 'blessing' of material things, without really thinking about the meaning (and purpose) behind those things that we are blessed with.
one thing that irks me to NO end is the sight of luxury cars with personalized license plates that have something to do with God 'blessing' them with this Benz/BMW/Hummer/Lexus/etc. I see them ALL the time, but the thing that irks me is not so much the fact that these ppl feel like God has 'blessed' them with this whip, as it is that you rarely see something similar on less-than-luxury vehicles. did God not bless you with that too? or do you not want to draw attention to your older car--which defeats the purpose of praising God for the blessing to begin with?! we ought to be thanking Him for both the big things and the small things, even if we're not 'ridin clean' (or as clean as we would like).
i remember some years ago a close friend of mine was going through some financial difficulties. she had fallen behind on her car payment, and the financing company was threatening to reposess her car if she didn't come up with a certain amount of money by a certain date. my friend didn't have the money, but she prayed about it and made peace with it in her mind that they were going to do what they had to do. Through all of this, she trusted that if it was His Will, God would somehow make a way for her to keep/pay for this car so that she could continue to be a blessing to her church members--picking up and dropping them off for service, running errands for the various ministries that she was involved in, taking her son safely back and forth to school and to visit family in another state, etc. she always reiterated to me that it was never about the car (she would walk/bus, if she had to), but it was about how she used the blessing that she had been given.
i thought about that today as i was celebrating my ticket. though the concert is gonna be a wonderful time and i'm getting a great bargain, it's not about the material aspect of it. it isn't about the concert itself. i feel blessed for two major reasons:
first reason: my friend and i had originally looked for tickets at the end of February. all the good seats were sold out, so we scrapped our plans. last week, her friend won a contest and got two AMAZING seats to the event. of course i was hating (in a loving way, LOL), but was happy that she could go with her. she kept encouraging me to get on this same contest site and see if i could win because she knew how bad i wanted to go, but no luck. some other tickets came available thru HER friend and as distracted as i was with other stuff going on this week, she kept giving me gentle reminders about these tickets (cause i surely had forgotten). needless to say, i got some great tickets, great seats, and a big part of that is b/c my friend was keeping after me because she knew how much this would mean to me!
second reason: i'm scrambling to find a last-minute sitter that won't kill my extracurricular budget, and reached out to PC's STL Auntie (who has since moved back to CHI). STL Auntie used to keep PC for me when i was traveling to STL for my old job and was truly, TRULY a Godsend. when she moved back to Chicago recently, she reached out to me to let me know that i could lean on her whenever i needed a sitter, so i could have a 'break' from time to time. reached out to her today, and even though she had some tentative plans Sat evening, she is working PC into those plans b/c, in her words 'the concert is something that i shouldn't miss!' and she is happy to help.
so, you see, i am reminded today, that blessings are much more than material items. blessings come in the form of the sacrificial love of friends, through their thoughtfulness and kindness. RLH & KRD--thank you *hugs*
i'll let you all know how the concert turns out ;-)
Thursday, April 16, 2009
child's play
*waving at my loyal readers*
quite a few ppl have been contacting me like 'what's up with the blog?' before today, i didn't realize that it had been TWO weeks since my last post--wow! time flies when you're having fun, right? (or when you run out of blog topics...LOL). anyway, i owe ya'll back big time...so be on the lookout for one..or...two...or more within the next few days :-)
so, what to write about?
well, i recently joined the FB Cult after years of periodic prodding from friends asking me 'areyouonfacebook?' and me saying 'nawdawg--idon'tneedanothersocialnetwork.' i had never fallen victim to MySpace, so i figured i could skate by FB unscathed..and did...for quite a while. finally, after a bit of good-natured peer pressure (c'mon, KW..it's sooooo fun!), combined with my own curiosity, i bit the bullet and joined about 2 months ago. truth be told, i already had a profile set up from YEARS ago that i had done nothing with other than enter an email address and password. but, over the years, i had accumulated quite a few Friend requests, so my queue of FB contacts begun to fill rather quickly once i finally 'signed on'.
i got signed up, uploaded some pictures, sent some Friend reqs, downloaded the app for my BB and started playing around with it. i discovered that i really enjoyed it and was glad that i joined. in conversation with my friend/fellow blogger, she was raving about how much she loved FB because it had allowed her to reconnect with many of her HS friends with whom she had lost touch over the years. somehow we got on the topic of why it had taken me so long to join and i told her that i really had no connection to high school and no interest in staying connected with my HS classmates...and those that i did, i was already in contact with. she probed a bit further, and i told her that, unlike most ppl, my high school memories are not made up of cotton candy and other pleasantries. seeing the faces of many of these folks (it's amazing how everyone looks the SAME!) --even 10+ years later, still stirs a bit of my memory...not enough to make me upset...but enough to remind me why i stayed away so long...and why i'm grateful for those ppl that have been there all along, FB or not.
a rail-thin (anorexic in appearance, but not in fact) teenager, i went into my tween and teen years awkward--tall, lanky, unathletic, blind (eventually got contacts--yay!) and just not a part of the popular crowd. i was called a 'nerd' for doing well in school and an 'oreo' for speaking 'white' (otherwise known as 'proper English). there was no 'high-school sweetheart' (though there were plenty of crushes and 'situations' with ppl who had no real interest in me) and i almost ended up going to prom solo because my date flaked out at the last minute (luckily i found a replacement in an old friend). of the 'popular' students that took the time to get to know me beyond their outward perception of me, most didn't acknowledge me as their 'friend' when other popular people were around. much of that eventually funneled into my college experience, but that's another blog for another day....
in a later conversation, my friend and i were talking about childhood trauma and if adults can ultimately overcome those things that were said and/or done to them as kids. i spoke about teasing and how cruel kids were in my day, and how much worse they are nowadays to the point where we see stories on the news daily of students killing themselves--or each other--based upon bullying at the hands of classmates. as i scrolled through pics of some of my HS classmates, i remember how many of them were teased unmercilessly--for being darkskinned...or overweight....or poor...or unfashionable....or smart...or, in the case of my HS best friend--gay. i also see the faces of the other classmates--the ones who were doing the teasing. if you were to ask many of them now, they probably would say that they don't remember doing it. but, i bet those that were teased remember it. i know i do.
many ppl will say that 'kids will be kids' and that teasing is a normal part of growing up. i'm not sure if i agree with that philosophy because good-natured 'trading the dozens' has given way to something much meaner, much nastier, and much more damaging.
PC, even at her young age, is a social butterfly--other children seem to flock to her and she is a natural Friendster. at 2 yrs old she is obviously too young to have experienced teasing yet, but i already worry about what the issue might be that will bring it out. the Mother Hen in me does not want her to experience a sliver of what i did when it comes to that. the Realist in me knows that it is likely inevitable. i just hope to instill enough self-esteem in her that she will have heart to stand up to those that try to tear her down.
after all is said and done, FB is a welcome diversion. HS was 11 years ago-- i now wear my Nerd Badge proudly, can codeswitch with the best of them, and somedays wish I could fit back into a Size 2, LOL. 'popularity' is overrated, and i'm not interested in being friends--or lovers--with anyone who ain't claimin' me. though my memory hasn't faded, life--and God--happened to me...so i have victory over the scars from that time!
and, i'm always itching for more FB friends to stalk....so, look me up ;-)
quite a few ppl have been contacting me like 'what's up with the blog?' before today, i didn't realize that it had been TWO weeks since my last post--wow! time flies when you're having fun, right? (or when you run out of blog topics...LOL). anyway, i owe ya'll back big time...so be on the lookout for one..or...two...or more within the next few days :-)
so, what to write about?
well, i recently joined the FB Cult after years of periodic prodding from friends asking me 'areyouonfacebook?' and me saying 'nawdawg--idon'tneedanothersocialnetwork.' i had never fallen victim to MySpace, so i figured i could skate by FB unscathed..and did...for quite a while. finally, after a bit of good-natured peer pressure (c'mon, KW..it's sooooo fun!), combined with my own curiosity, i bit the bullet and joined about 2 months ago. truth be told, i already had a profile set up from YEARS ago that i had done nothing with other than enter an email address and password. but, over the years, i had accumulated quite a few Friend requests, so my queue of FB contacts begun to fill rather quickly once i finally 'signed on'.
i got signed up, uploaded some pictures, sent some Friend reqs, downloaded the app for my BB and started playing around with it. i discovered that i really enjoyed it and was glad that i joined. in conversation with my friend/fellow blogger, she was raving about how much she loved FB because it had allowed her to reconnect with many of her HS friends with whom she had lost touch over the years. somehow we got on the topic of why it had taken me so long to join and i told her that i really had no connection to high school and no interest in staying connected with my HS classmates...and those that i did, i was already in contact with. she probed a bit further, and i told her that, unlike most ppl, my high school memories are not made up of cotton candy and other pleasantries. seeing the faces of many of these folks (it's amazing how everyone looks the SAME!) --even 10+ years later, still stirs a bit of my memory...not enough to make me upset...but enough to remind me why i stayed away so long...and why i'm grateful for those ppl that have been there all along, FB or not.
a rail-thin (anorexic in appearance, but not in fact) teenager, i went into my tween and teen years awkward--tall, lanky, unathletic, blind (eventually got contacts--yay!) and just not a part of the popular crowd. i was called a 'nerd' for doing well in school and an 'oreo' for speaking 'white' (otherwise known as 'proper English). there was no 'high-school sweetheart' (though there were plenty of crushes and 'situations' with ppl who had no real interest in me) and i almost ended up going to prom solo because my date flaked out at the last minute (luckily i found a replacement in an old friend). of the 'popular' students that took the time to get to know me beyond their outward perception of me, most didn't acknowledge me as their 'friend' when other popular people were around. much of that eventually funneled into my college experience, but that's another blog for another day....
in a later conversation, my friend and i were talking about childhood trauma and if adults can ultimately overcome those things that were said and/or done to them as kids. i spoke about teasing and how cruel kids were in my day, and how much worse they are nowadays to the point where we see stories on the news daily of students killing themselves--or each other--based upon bullying at the hands of classmates. as i scrolled through pics of some of my HS classmates, i remember how many of them were teased unmercilessly--for being darkskinned...or overweight....or poor...or unfashionable....or smart...or, in the case of my HS best friend--gay. i also see the faces of the other classmates--the ones who were doing the teasing. if you were to ask many of them now, they probably would say that they don't remember doing it. but, i bet those that were teased remember it. i know i do.
many ppl will say that 'kids will be kids' and that teasing is a normal part of growing up. i'm not sure if i agree with that philosophy because good-natured 'trading the dozens' has given way to something much meaner, much nastier, and much more damaging.
PC, even at her young age, is a social butterfly--other children seem to flock to her and she is a natural Friendster. at 2 yrs old she is obviously too young to have experienced teasing yet, but i already worry about what the issue might be that will bring it out. the Mother Hen in me does not want her to experience a sliver of what i did when it comes to that. the Realist in me knows that it is likely inevitable. i just hope to instill enough self-esteem in her that she will have heart to stand up to those that try to tear her down.
after all is said and done, FB is a welcome diversion. HS was 11 years ago-- i now wear my Nerd Badge proudly, can codeswitch with the best of them, and somedays wish I could fit back into a Size 2, LOL. 'popularity' is overrated, and i'm not interested in being friends--or lovers--with anyone who ain't claimin' me. though my memory hasn't faded, life--and God--happened to me...so i have victory over the scars from that time!
and, i'm always itching for more FB friends to stalk....so, look me up ;-)
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
reason, season, lifetime
truth be told, this topic of 'reason, season, lifetime' has been on my mind/heart for some weeks now. unfortunately, as has been known to happen to those of us who sheepishly call ourselves 'writers'--the words/thoughts/ideas were all jumbled up in my brain, but i couldn't string them together into anything that made sense enough for the lovely, dedicated readers of this blog (and yes, that means YOU,lol). but, as has also been known to happen to those of us who sheepishly call ourselves 'writers'--an aha! moment today rounded out my thoughts, and gave me the exact words to put to e-paper. so, here goes......
so, yesterday i had a 3hr chunk of time between work appointments and i decided to make the local Panera Bread my 'mobile office.' it was right in the middle of the lunch rush, and, even in the pouring rain, folks had made the trek to get their 'U Pick 2,' so seating was at a premium. i finally snagged a table in the far corner (with an outlet for my laptop--yay!) and got to work on a turkey sandwich and some emails. the crowd eventually dwindled and a group of 4 ladies came in to meet for lunch. they were seated about 2 tables away from me, but as the noise dwindled down and their conversation got lively, i couldn't help but eavesdrop (by accident...hey, they were my background noise). these ladies all appeared to post-menopausal age, and they had a ball while they were there. they laughed, talked about every topic under the sun from travel to health to husbands/boyfriends to what bank they had their retirement fund saved in. they playfully chided each about the heaps of food on their plate, and some talked over others when they were trying to make a point. when i left after 2.5 hours, they were still there--giggling, sharing, loving.
now, i have no idea how long these ladies had been friends, but i would assume probably for quite a while since i've been told that the older you get, the harder it is to make friends. maybe that met at work years back before they all retired..or maybe their kids were friends and they met thru playdates, high school athletics and proms. maybe they met thru church activities or community service. no matter the genesis of their friendship, it was very obvious the connectedness of the four of them and the pure joy that they had just hanging out, eating lunch, and being with the girls. as i walked out of the restaurant, i sent my friend a message about this simple, yet profound thing that i had just observed. i said to her 'i hope that'll be me and you and the rest of my friends one day.' she completely understood.
as an only child, the selfish pieces of me never really wanted a sibling growing up. i used to secretly pray that my mom wouldn't have a baby and i would plot my escape juuuuust in case the unthinkable happened! looking back on it, i now laugh because as i went to college and became an adult, the tide turned and i starting wishing that i would have had a sibling. i envied my friends who did have siblings (even ones they complained about). i believe that the Friendster in me was partially borne out of that desire for a sister. i took (and still take) my friendships very seriously, and, as i've been told, have probably doled out that title way too liberally.
some years ago, my best friend/sister-of-the-heart introduced me to the concept of reason/season/lifetime. she would always tell me that everyone that comes into your life is not necessarily there forever. there are people who truly are there just for a reason (and not always a good one!), a season (to help you grow/teach you some things), or for a lifetime (very rare & very special). our job is to pay attention, to respect and value the relationship, to take from it what we need and to give to it what we have been called to give...and if/when the time is up, to let the ship sail. i used to kick/scream/pout at this concept because the reason/season part=not forever. and, as the person who HATES goodbyes and who grieves loss like no other...well, i couldn't get with that concept. i wanted folk that would be around FOREVER and WHENEVER...but, as all who've lived just a little bit of life know: nothing lasts forever (so be honest, babe--thanks, Maroon 5 :-)
since becoming the mother of this Special Child named PC, i've had a lot of folk come in and out of my life--either directly or indirectly related to her birth/existence on this earth (funny how God works). many of the ppl that i've met in the last 3+ yrs since i first found out i was pregnant have been b/c of PC: other [single] moms, friends of friends, parents of PC's classmates, church members who watched my belly/baby grow unbeknownst to me, sorority sisters that i've only ever met electronically...the list goes on and on and on. and, as is to be expected, some of those relationships were for a reason and/or only lasted for a season, while others i know will be for a lifetime. PC's first name means 'wisdom' and her middle name 'God will increase' and it has proven to be true. b/c thru being her mom, i have become wiser about myself, about what it means to be a friend, about loving, and about letting go. i've learned that things change/people change/dynamics change, sometimes for the good and sometimes for the bad. i've learned that unresolved feelings can make even a great relationship irreparably broken. i've learned that ppl show up (and God shows out thru them!) right on time.
and, i've also learned what it means to 'choose' your family, when you're away from those who are related to you by blood.
so, as i watched those ladies yesterday, i thought to myself how much i wish for that. for 30 years from now to be able to meet my girlfriends for lunch and laugh, love, and have a good time. to have those girlfriends be not only ppl that i met long before now and long before there was ever a PC...but also for those that i have met during the last few years and also those that i will meet along the way...'sisters' that have yet to be born. as unrealistic as it sounds, i wish for no more seasonal friends, and instead only those that will be there for a lifetime.
in that, i also wish to be a better sisterfriend--to be more loving, more patient, more kind, more generous. to give more grace and more forgiveness. to know when to speak the truth in love--and how to receive it. and to know when to say when.
to be a better person 30 years from now than i am today.
cheers to sisterfriends :-)
so, yesterday i had a 3hr chunk of time between work appointments and i decided to make the local Panera Bread my 'mobile office.' it was right in the middle of the lunch rush, and, even in the pouring rain, folks had made the trek to get their 'U Pick 2,' so seating was at a premium. i finally snagged a table in the far corner (with an outlet for my laptop--yay!) and got to work on a turkey sandwich and some emails. the crowd eventually dwindled and a group of 4 ladies came in to meet for lunch. they were seated about 2 tables away from me, but as the noise dwindled down and their conversation got lively, i couldn't help but eavesdrop (by accident...hey, they were my background noise). these ladies all appeared to post-menopausal age, and they had a ball while they were there. they laughed, talked about every topic under the sun from travel to health to husbands/boyfriends to what bank they had their retirement fund saved in. they playfully chided each about the heaps of food on their plate, and some talked over others when they were trying to make a point. when i left after 2.5 hours, they were still there--giggling, sharing, loving.
now, i have no idea how long these ladies had been friends, but i would assume probably for quite a while since i've been told that the older you get, the harder it is to make friends. maybe that met at work years back before they all retired..or maybe their kids were friends and they met thru playdates, high school athletics and proms. maybe they met thru church activities or community service. no matter the genesis of their friendship, it was very obvious the connectedness of the four of them and the pure joy that they had just hanging out, eating lunch, and being with the girls. as i walked out of the restaurant, i sent my friend a message about this simple, yet profound thing that i had just observed. i said to her 'i hope that'll be me and you and the rest of my friends one day.' she completely understood.
as an only child, the selfish pieces of me never really wanted a sibling growing up. i used to secretly pray that my mom wouldn't have a baby and i would plot my escape juuuuust in case the unthinkable happened! looking back on it, i now laugh because as i went to college and became an adult, the tide turned and i starting wishing that i would have had a sibling. i envied my friends who did have siblings (even ones they complained about). i believe that the Friendster in me was partially borne out of that desire for a sister. i took (and still take) my friendships very seriously, and, as i've been told, have probably doled out that title way too liberally.
some years ago, my best friend/sister-of-the-heart introduced me to the concept of reason/season/lifetime. she would always tell me that everyone that comes into your life is not necessarily there forever. there are people who truly are there just for a reason (and not always a good one!), a season (to help you grow/teach you some things), or for a lifetime (very rare & very special). our job is to pay attention, to respect and value the relationship, to take from it what we need and to give to it what we have been called to give...and if/when the time is up, to let the ship sail. i used to kick/scream/pout at this concept because the reason/season part=not forever. and, as the person who HATES goodbyes and who grieves loss like no other...well, i couldn't get with that concept. i wanted folk that would be around FOREVER and WHENEVER...but, as all who've lived just a little bit of life know: nothing lasts forever (so be honest, babe--thanks, Maroon 5 :-)
since becoming the mother of this Special Child named PC, i've had a lot of folk come in and out of my life--either directly or indirectly related to her birth/existence on this earth (funny how God works). many of the ppl that i've met in the last 3+ yrs since i first found out i was pregnant have been b/c of PC: other [single] moms, friends of friends, parents of PC's classmates, church members who watched my belly/baby grow unbeknownst to me, sorority sisters that i've only ever met electronically...the list goes on and on and on. and, as is to be expected, some of those relationships were for a reason and/or only lasted for a season, while others i know will be for a lifetime. PC's first name means 'wisdom' and her middle name 'God will increase' and it has proven to be true. b/c thru being her mom, i have become wiser about myself, about what it means to be a friend, about loving, and about letting go. i've learned that things change/people change/dynamics change, sometimes for the good and sometimes for the bad. i've learned that unresolved feelings can make even a great relationship irreparably broken. i've learned that ppl show up (and God shows out thru them!) right on time.
and, i've also learned what it means to 'choose' your family, when you're away from those who are related to you by blood.
so, as i watched those ladies yesterday, i thought to myself how much i wish for that. for 30 years from now to be able to meet my girlfriends for lunch and laugh, love, and have a good time. to have those girlfriends be not only ppl that i met long before now and long before there was ever a PC...but also for those that i have met during the last few years and also those that i will meet along the way...'sisters' that have yet to be born. as unrealistic as it sounds, i wish for no more seasonal friends, and instead only those that will be there for a lifetime.
in that, i also wish to be a better sisterfriend--to be more loving, more patient, more kind, more generous. to give more grace and more forgiveness. to know when to speak the truth in love--and how to receive it. and to know when to say when.
to be a better person 30 years from now than i am today.
cheers to sisterfriends :-)
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