child's play

*waving at my loyal readers*

quite a few ppl have been contacting me like 'what's up with the blog?' before today, i didn't realize that it had been TWO weeks since my last post--wow! time flies when you're having fun, right? (or when you run out of blog topics...LOL). anyway, i owe ya'll back big time...so be on the lookout for one..or...two...or more within the next few days :-)

so, what to write about?

well, i recently joined the FB Cult after years of periodic prodding from friends asking me 'areyouonfacebook?' and me saying 'nawdawg--idon'tneedanothersocialnetwork.' i had never fallen victim to MySpace, so i figured i could skate by FB unscathed..and did...for quite a while. finally, after a bit of good-natured peer pressure (c'mon, KW..it's sooooo fun!), combined with my own curiosity, i bit the bullet and joined about 2 months ago. truth be told, i already had a profile set up from YEARS ago that i had done nothing with other than enter an email address and password. but, over the years, i had accumulated quite a few Friend requests, so my queue of FB contacts begun to fill rather quickly once i finally 'signed on'.

i got signed up, uploaded some pictures, sent some Friend reqs, downloaded the app for my BB and started playing around with it. i discovered that i really enjoyed it and was glad that i joined. in conversation with my friend/fellow blogger, she was raving about how much she loved FB because it had allowed her to reconnect with many of her HS friends with whom she had lost touch over the years. somehow we got on the topic of why it had taken me so long to join and i told her that i really had no connection to high school and no interest in staying connected with my HS classmates...and those that i did, i was already in contact with. she probed a bit further, and i told her that, unlike most ppl, my high school memories are not made up of cotton candy and other pleasantries. seeing the faces of many of these folks (it's amazing how everyone looks the SAME!) --even 10+ years later, still stirs a bit of my memory...not enough to make me upset...but enough to remind me why i stayed away so long...and why i'm grateful for those ppl that have been there all along, FB or not.

a rail-thin (anorexic in appearance, but not in fact) teenager, i went into my tween and teen years awkward--tall, lanky, unathletic, blind (eventually got contacts--yay!) and just not a part of the popular crowd. i was called a 'nerd' for doing well in school and an 'oreo' for speaking 'white' (otherwise known as 'proper English). there was no 'high-school sweetheart' (though there were plenty of crushes and 'situations' with ppl who had no real interest in me) and i almost ended up going to prom solo because my date flaked out at the last minute (luckily i found a replacement in an old friend). of the 'popular' students that took the time to get to know me beyond their outward perception of me, most didn't acknowledge me as their 'friend' when other popular people were around. much of that eventually funneled into my college experience, but that's another blog for another day....

in a later conversation, my friend and i were talking about childhood trauma and if adults can ultimately overcome those things that were said and/or done to them as kids. i spoke about teasing and how cruel kids were in my day, and how much worse they are nowadays to the point where we see stories on the news daily of students killing themselves--or each other--based upon bullying at the hands of classmates. as i scrolled through pics of some of my HS classmates, i remember how many of them were teased unmercilessly--for being darkskinned...or overweight....or poor...or unfashionable....or smart...or, in the case of my HS best friend--gay. i also see the faces of the other classmates--the ones who were doing the teasing. if you were to ask many of them now, they probably would say that they don't remember doing it. but, i bet those that were teased remember it. i know i do.

many ppl will say that 'kids will be kids' and that teasing is a normal part of growing up. i'm not sure if i agree with that philosophy because good-natured 'trading the dozens' has given way to something much meaner, much nastier, and much more damaging.

PC, even at her young age, is a social butterfly--other children seem to flock to her and she is a natural Friendster. at 2 yrs old she is obviously too young to have experienced teasing yet, but i already worry about what the issue might be that will bring it out. the Mother Hen in me does not want her to experience a sliver of what i did when it comes to that. the Realist in me knows that it is likely inevitable. i just hope to instill enough self-esteem in her that she will have heart to stand up to those that try to tear her down.

after all is said and done, FB is a welcome diversion. HS was 11 years ago-- i now wear my Nerd Badge proudly, can codeswitch with the best of them, and somedays wish I could fit back into a Size 2, LOL. 'popularity' is overrated, and i'm not interested in being friends--or lovers--with anyone who ain't claimin' me. though my memory hasn't faded, life--and God--happened to me...so i have victory over the scars from that time!

and, i'm always itching for more FB friends to stalk....so, look me up ;-)