the Chosen One

so, i'm driving home Friday night from a 'date' with my Main Squeeze a.k.a. PC. we had just enjoyed some great QT together--dinner at the Choo Choo Train Diner (where they actually bring your food to you on a miniature train!! fun, i know!!) and Sesame Street Live. she was sleeping peacefully in the backseat as i headed south on I-294, and i was listening to 'I Am'--Chrisette Michele's first album. for those that know me (or pay attention to my FB status updates), you know that she is one of my favoritefavoritefavorite artists, and though her 2nd album is slowly growing on me, i am still addicted to her first album. cruising down the highway, i was listening to 'Golden' (if you haven't heard it, please download it), and i got to thinking about agape love...unconditional love...and how my little Sleeping Beauty has taught me exactly what that means.

before i was a mother, i distinctly remember having long talks with my best friend about child-rearing. her son was little then and she was a single mom, struggling to make it through graduate school, while working full-time to keep it all together. she would often tell me how she never knew what it meant to truly love unconditionally until she met her son...and that, we think we know love when we fall in love with a dude...or b/c we love our family members or friends...but that LOVE...that love for your child...is something that is impossible to fully capture in words, but will shake up every notion and assumption that you've ever come up with in your head about what it really means to love.

you see--children love us unconditionally. they haven't been spoiled by the stresses and strife of life and all of the mountains and valleys that come with it, hardening their heart in places that should otherwise be soft. they love us even when we're unlovable--when we're yelling & scolding them for being disobedient, when we have to tell them 'no' because we know what's best for them, when we don't look or feel our best, even when we make mistakes. they don't hold grudges. a moment after they've thrown a tantrum or stomped off to their room mumbling under their breath--if you reach out to them and hug them, they won't turn you away.

these little people (and for those who have pre-teen and teen kids--bigger ppl, lol) love without conditions.

wow. what a concept.

being a parent doesn't come with instructions. sure, there's all kinds of books, videos, and seminars out there...but nothing compares to being in the trenches with YOUR child on a day-to-day basis. those of us who are parents began this journey in many different ways--some younger, some older, some planned, some unexpected, some single, some married, some after much trial and error, and some with relative ease. our paths have been wrought with many twists and turns--GREAT days...and some challenging days...

but, when we look into the eyes of that little person who shares half our DNA, we are reminded:

for such a time as THIS, I have been chosen to be steward over this person's life.

wow.

as i drove down the highway, my eyes filled with tears and i began to cry and shout to God words of thanksgiving. my journey as a mother ain't been no crystal stair, and there have been many a day or night where i've cried and prayed...and prayed and cried....and had to reach out to a friend or two to talk me down from just running away with the circus.

but, for all of those 'midnight hour' moments, i've had 10-fold opposite moments--of pure, unadulterated JOY--- at the person was sent from Heaven to change my heart...and to change my life and my very being.

i am so grateful and so blessed, and the Word is true when it says that children are indeed a REWARD from God. not sure what i did to deserve such a gift, but i intend to continue to make it my top priority to love her in the way that He has loved me.

Happy Mother's Day to all of the mommies out there...the aunties....Godmothers...and others who make a difference in the life of a child each and every day. you are indeed angels unaware.