a Dream deferred

i talked to an old friend today. we hadn't spoken in a little bit over a year, but she had been weighing heavy on my mind for about a month, and i had an intensely vivid dream--that i remembered in detail, which i hardly ever do--that starred her, her [now ex] fiance, and some of our friends. i decided to reach out and call her, to say hello, to catch up, to check-in...as i don't take for granted those inklings on the inside, tugging at your spirit.

we talked for quite a while...i found out that the engagement that she had wished and hoped to happen, had happened...and then had fallen apart....that she'd walked away from a long term relationship with the man that she thought would be her husband...that she'd woken up one day and decided that she wasn't where she was supposed to be....and tho bruised, battered, and still hurting...

she was ok.

she talked about the Dream--the dream of getting married, living happily ever after...and how difficult it was to walk away from that Dream...even when you knew that what was presented before you wasn't all it was cracked up to be.....

so, what happens to a Dream deferred? what happens when all that you've worked so hard to maintain crumbles before your very eyes? where your future...or atleast what you thought it would be...is altered seemingly overnight?

what happens when you wake up?

well, in my friend's case--when she woke up--she found courage. courage to listen to her heart and that still small voice that was telling her that it was time to get up and get out.....courage to look herself in the mirror and say--'i've got some stuff in ME that i need to work on--part and parcel of anyone else.'

courage to go against the grain, to not worry about "saving face" for the naysayers.

the funny thing about this issue of dreams is that Langston Hughes used the word 'deferred' instead of 'denied.' Deferred by its very nature, implies that it has only been halted temporarily... that is, that it will eventually come to pass. perhaps it will not come to pass in the way that YOU think it is supposed to, but it WILL come to pass.

i dreamt about my friend's bridal shower--laughter, gifts, good food, good friends...not knowing that her wedding had already been called off. now, i don't claim to be a psychic or anything like that, but perhaps my dream was just that--a foretelling of what is to be...but just cannot be...

not right now, anyway.

but,

[maybe] later.....

reminding me that--with the issues of our hearts' desires:

He always has the last word...