yesterday's Funny-of-the-Day happened in the parking lot of our local Toys R Us. me, PC, and my homie had gone there to try to catch some deals, and when we pulled into the shopping center, we were greeted by a bit of a crowd. it was manageable, however, but parking spots were at a premium. my friend spotted a park 2 or 3 spaces away from the door, but since i was boxed in by a car to my back and to my front, i couldn't back up, so she suggested that she'd hop out and stand in the space while i went around, a feat that would only take 1 minute at the most.
cool, right? well, by the time i made it back around and down the aisle, The Man was pulling up. he saw my friend standing in this spot, and me less than 10 feet away with my turn signal on. she tried to motion to him, in the most polite way possible that she was saving the spot and i was trying to get in, but he wouldn't budge. so a standoff ensued.
oh, by the way: The Man didn't ever look my friend in the eye the ENTIRE time that he sat there refusing to move, which was about 5 loooong minutes.
he eventually moved and i swung into the spot. we laughed about it off and on all day, and tied the incident into bigger issues of entitlement that all of us encounter, sometimes daily, from the Majority.
how many of us have had situations where we walk into a store and no one even speaks? or, we're standing in line, and someone cuts right in front of us, and then tries to act like they didn't even notice that we were standing there? the clerk that puts our change on the counter instead of in our hand? the list goes on and on......
and, in my experience and opinion, it is almost ALWAYS the Majority.
so, what now? we know that BO had scores of support from ALL races. but we also know that there are many ppl who claim to be "liberal" and "colorblind" but still wouldn't vote for a Black man...and then there are those who definitely AREN'T liberal and colorblind and didn't vote for him either.
many email fwds and jokes have been going around, jokingly telling Black folks how NOT to act, even tho BO won. and, the overarching theme is:
we AREN'T supposed to exercise any semblance of (false) entitlement.
this is not a free pass to just act a fool bc a brother is the President-Elect...and...well, because we can, lol.
and many of them expect us to do just that.
so, like my friend, we can stand our ground, keep our cool....
and give each other a head-nod and a wink after the fact.
no acting a fool necessary :-)
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
paying the cost...to be the boss.
as the year is coming to a close, i've been doing a lot of reflecting. i've gone through a lot of changes and transitions this year: job changes, parenting changes, friendship/relationship changes...and i've learned an awful lot about myself in the process. when you go into a new year, you never know what the year will bring, but you can always be sure that there will be many twists and turns to keep you on your toes. as i sat at home last new year's eve, having trudged home in heavy snow from service at church, i prayed that 2008 would be full of health and happiness, and that God would continue to be with me through both the triumphs and the challenges. i can confirm that He has been.
when i started this blog in August, i was in the process of evaluating my time and where i spend it. i had just started my new job and at that time, had NO idea how demanding and exhausting that it would ultimately turn out to be. i had decided to take a step back from my pink-and-green responsibilities to focus on some other activities. i began to make a conscious effort to take time for me and doing things that i enjoy--and so far, i think i've done a pretty good job at infusing [adult] fun into the sitcom that my life is on many days.
but, with everything there comes a cost.
a close friend and i have been talking through her frustrations and high stress levels in her role at her current job. she made the move to this job a year ago with the hopes that it would be a step onward and upward for her career advancement, and though she has gained a title and some more exposure--the costs of the job--on her personal time with her family and her sanity--have made her rethink if she made the right move.
in my current role, though i feel very, VERY blessed to have this position in an otherwise horrific economy (please don't get me wrong on that)...i am too weighing the costs on my personal time (separation of WORK and state does not happen often in my home, lol), and trying to figure out a way to balance it all.
ahh...the art of balance.
as a self-proclaimed busybody...i am ALWAYS on the go. whether it is running errands, going to meetings, attending church events, or simply hanging out with friends....my calendar is always chock-full of places-to-go and people-to-see. i enjoy being busy, not just for busyness' sake, but simply because each of these things that i am doing--i WANT to be doing...and those that i don't, i simply don't. i have graduated to not saying "yes" if i really want to say "no."
but, yet i find myself exhausted. and i look at the women around me, my homegirls: mothers/wives/girlfriends/career-women/sorors/volunteers/students, etc...
and there is a common theme:
we are all EXHAUSTED.
and though most of us have tried to simplify our lives as much as possible, i don't think that nirvana is ever reached in that area.
because, as one of my friends always says:
being a grownup is hard.
and, yet, we all wake up everyday (albeit off of very little sleep) and do it all over again--taking care of ourselves, our families, our extended families, and everyone else in between.
being EveryWoman to EveryBody.
but wearing ourselves out in the process.
i don't know what the solution is, and i have been brainstorming ways to capture that sweet, uninterrupted relaxation that always seems just out of our reach.
but, i pray that as we all continue to add item after item onto our neverending To-Do lists that we won't forget one important thing:
GET SOME REST.
when i started this blog in August, i was in the process of evaluating my time and where i spend it. i had just started my new job and at that time, had NO idea how demanding and exhausting that it would ultimately turn out to be. i had decided to take a step back from my pink-and-green responsibilities to focus on some other activities. i began to make a conscious effort to take time for me and doing things that i enjoy--and so far, i think i've done a pretty good job at infusing [adult] fun into the sitcom that my life is on many days.
but, with everything there comes a cost.
a close friend and i have been talking through her frustrations and high stress levels in her role at her current job. she made the move to this job a year ago with the hopes that it would be a step onward and upward for her career advancement, and though she has gained a title and some more exposure--the costs of the job--on her personal time with her family and her sanity--have made her rethink if she made the right move.
in my current role, though i feel very, VERY blessed to have this position in an otherwise horrific economy (please don't get me wrong on that)...i am too weighing the costs on my personal time (separation of WORK and state does not happen often in my home, lol), and trying to figure out a way to balance it all.
ahh...the art of balance.
as a self-proclaimed busybody...i am ALWAYS on the go. whether it is running errands, going to meetings, attending church events, or simply hanging out with friends....my calendar is always chock-full of places-to-go and people-to-see. i enjoy being busy, not just for busyness' sake, but simply because each of these things that i am doing--i WANT to be doing...and those that i don't, i simply don't. i have graduated to not saying "yes" if i really want to say "no."
but, yet i find myself exhausted. and i look at the women around me, my homegirls: mothers/wives/girlfriends/career-women/sorors/volunteers/students, etc...
and there is a common theme:
we are all EXHAUSTED.
and though most of us have tried to simplify our lives as much as possible, i don't think that nirvana is ever reached in that area.
because, as one of my friends always says:
being a grownup is hard.
and, yet, we all wake up everyday (albeit off of very little sleep) and do it all over again--taking care of ourselves, our families, our extended families, and everyone else in between.
being EveryWoman to EveryBody.
but wearing ourselves out in the process.
i don't know what the solution is, and i have been brainstorming ways to capture that sweet, uninterrupted relaxation that always seems just out of our reach.
but, i pray that as we all continue to add item after item onto our neverending To-Do lists that we won't forget one important thing:
GET SOME REST.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
why.not.me. ....or you.
for those of us who doubt ourselves from time to time...here's a quick 2 mins of inspiration:
http://www.thewhynotmemovie.com/
enjoy!
lovingly,
kmw
http://www.thewhynotmemovie.com/
enjoy!
lovingly,
kmw
Friday, November 14, 2008
if you're happy and you know it..
one of PC's favorite songs serves as the title of today's blog. she never tires of me singing it to her and inserting any number of commands after --and you know it_______. the one she loves the most are "say AMEN!" "say I LOVE YOU" or "jump up and down." she gets such a kick out of doing those commands, and the biggest smile comes across her face when i sing it. along with it being one of her favorite songs, i've also learned that it almost always serves as a distraction/deterrent when PC is getting ready to or in the midst of a Toddler Meltdown.
this has been one heck of a week. i feel like i've been ducking-and-dodging stress-triggers all week, and, unfortunately, not so victoriously. the good news is: i know my triggers. the bad news is: sometimes i don't do the best job dodging the bullets.
today, i was talking with my mom, sharing with everything that had happened this week and towards the end of the conversation, we just both started rolling laughing. the situations in and of themselves weren't funny, but it's all about perspective. and my mom's commentary on it--"whatever"--her favorite word-- just made me bust out laughing. so simple, yet so profound.
i'm not "whatever" about anything....passionate about most things, opinionated about pretty much EVERYTHING. so, it should come as no surprise that i take most things to heart--positive and negative. a walking, talking Mushball of sorts.
a blessing and a curse, i think, because when i get down about something, if i don't nip it in the bud, it will fester and ultimately turn into the Over-Analysis Paralysis, which is the antithesis of self-reflection and not good for anyone involved.
so, i am learning, albeit slowly, to own my feelings--whatever they may be, and to recognize my triggers....
and to always remember to put on my bulletproof vest of childhood ditties, sidesplitting laughter, and acceptance of the things i cannot change, with the courage to change those things that i can.
in no way perfect in this area, but trying my best to get there....
this has been one heck of a week. i feel like i've been ducking-and-dodging stress-triggers all week, and, unfortunately, not so victoriously. the good news is: i know my triggers. the bad news is: sometimes i don't do the best job dodging the bullets.
today, i was talking with my mom, sharing with everything that had happened this week and towards the end of the conversation, we just both started rolling laughing. the situations in and of themselves weren't funny, but it's all about perspective. and my mom's commentary on it--"whatever"--her favorite word-- just made me bust out laughing. so simple, yet so profound.
i'm not "whatever" about anything....passionate about most things, opinionated about pretty much EVERYTHING. so, it should come as no surprise that i take most things to heart--positive and negative. a walking, talking Mushball of sorts.
a blessing and a curse, i think, because when i get down about something, if i don't nip it in the bud, it will fester and ultimately turn into the Over-Analysis Paralysis, which is the antithesis of self-reflection and not good for anyone involved.
so, i am learning, albeit slowly, to own my feelings--whatever they may be, and to recognize my triggers....
and to always remember to put on my bulletproof vest of childhood ditties, sidesplitting laughter, and acceptance of the things i cannot change, with the courage to change those things that i can.
in no way perfect in this area, but trying my best to get there....
Sunday, November 9, 2008
lest we forget
last night i lost my Opera Virginity and i'm sooo excited about it! me and one of my good girlfriends went to see 'Margaret Garner' which is the operatic telling of the story of the slave who killed her children vs. allowing them to go into bondage. her story is what Toni Morrison wrote about in Beloved, and what the movie of the same name was about.
the director of the theater came out and gave a brief introduction of the opera, the history of it, and why he thought it was so important that it be performed, especially at this time. one of the reasons he stated was simple, yet so all-encompassing:
lest we forget.
though we stand at a crossroads of history right now, lest we forget that we are NOT that far removed from slavery, from segregation/Jim Crow laws, or from institutionalized racism. though the former have gone away (well, slavery still exists in some parts of the world, but the American concept of chattel slavery has been abolished), the latter still remains and much work still needs to be done to eradicate that completely. hearts must be changed.
as i watched Margaret's story last night, i alternated between anger and awe. i am one of those black folks that watches slavery movies or even more modern day "do-the-right-thing"-esque films and gets RED HOT, so imagine what it's like to watch it in live action! it also makes me think about--what the HECK would i have done had that been me?? would i have killed my own child so that she wouldn't have to be enslaved, violated, and beaten?? how much i take for granted on a daily basis--sitting where i want in a restaurant, or a train/bus, drinking from whatever water fountain i want, swimming in whatever pool i want, working in a white-male dominated field and being successful.
lest we forget.
there are many black folks (and folks of other persuasions, for that matter) that think we need to just "move on." that those days are over, and that slavery is a thing of the past. segregation is a thing of the past. we need to get over it.
really?
no one tells Jewish ppl to "forget" the Holocaust and they don't. our Jewish brothers and sisters are very cognizant of their tragic past, and spend a lot of time, energy, money, and other resources to educate themselves and future generations about the lessons of the Holocaust so that it might never happen again.
so, just because we've seemingly "arrived," why should we be expected to forget where we came from?
the Holocaust was geographically removed from us. it didn't happen on American soil, and its legacies, though painful, are hardly ingrained into the fabric of this country.
living in America, no matter how much the Land of Opportunity it may be, we are still confronted with the legacies of slavery/racism on a daily basis, no matter how covert they may be.
my fear is that since Brother BO has been elected, certain folks (of-color persuasion and others) will implore upon us that this is an indication that all of the "race questions" have been answered and we truly are in a so-called "post-racial" society. not so much. though BO's election is definitely an example of GREAT progress, we still must not rest on our laurels.
we've come this far by faith.
and we must never forget.
the director of the theater came out and gave a brief introduction of the opera, the history of it, and why he thought it was so important that it be performed, especially at this time. one of the reasons he stated was simple, yet so all-encompassing:
lest we forget.
though we stand at a crossroads of history right now, lest we forget that we are NOT that far removed from slavery, from segregation/Jim Crow laws, or from institutionalized racism. though the former have gone away (well, slavery still exists in some parts of the world, but the American concept of chattel slavery has been abolished), the latter still remains and much work still needs to be done to eradicate that completely. hearts must be changed.
as i watched Margaret's story last night, i alternated between anger and awe. i am one of those black folks that watches slavery movies or even more modern day "do-the-right-thing"-esque films and gets RED HOT, so imagine what it's like to watch it in live action! it also makes me think about--what the HECK would i have done had that been me?? would i have killed my own child so that she wouldn't have to be enslaved, violated, and beaten?? how much i take for granted on a daily basis--sitting where i want in a restaurant, or a train/bus, drinking from whatever water fountain i want, swimming in whatever pool i want, working in a white-male dominated field and being successful.
lest we forget.
there are many black folks (and folks of other persuasions, for that matter) that think we need to just "move on." that those days are over, and that slavery is a thing of the past. segregation is a thing of the past. we need to get over it.
really?
no one tells Jewish ppl to "forget" the Holocaust and they don't. our Jewish brothers and sisters are very cognizant of their tragic past, and spend a lot of time, energy, money, and other resources to educate themselves and future generations about the lessons of the Holocaust so that it might never happen again.
so, just because we've seemingly "arrived," why should we be expected to forget where we came from?
the Holocaust was geographically removed from us. it didn't happen on American soil, and its legacies, though painful, are hardly ingrained into the fabric of this country.
living in America, no matter how much the Land of Opportunity it may be, we are still confronted with the legacies of slavery/racism on a daily basis, no matter how covert they may be.
my fear is that since Brother BO has been elected, certain folks (of-color persuasion and others) will implore upon us that this is an indication that all of the "race questions" have been answered and we truly are in a so-called "post-racial" society. not so much. though BO's election is definitely an example of GREAT progress, we still must not rest on our laurels.
we've come this far by faith.
and we must never forget.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
LOVING vicariously
being surrounded by a 24/7 mush-fest/Love Hangover sucks sometimes. ALL of my close friends...and when i say all, i mean ALL....are either married/dating someone seriously. i am the Lone Ranger: the one who rarely dates (not by choice) and on the ocassions that i do, i either have GREAT dates that ultimately materialize into Abysses of Nothingness....or Hell Dates that were better off not occuring at all.
so, it's hard not to have that "left out feeling", a feeling cloaked in a blanket of simultaneous bittersweet admiration/excitement/happiness for my friends....and bummed-out feelings about my own situation.
i'm human....and definitely not boy-crazy, but desirous of something other than just being Mommy all the time...and frustrated with not seeing the fruit of all of the strides that i've made with respects to my approach to love (Trivial Pursuit notwithstanding).
i wonder if ppl who are struggling with infertility look at my motherhood and feel that same bittersweetness. but, i think that the comparison doesn't exactly fit because infertility isn't a choice and even with all of the medical marvels...sometimes our bodies just don't do operate in the way that we should.
singleness...with no prospect on the horizon...even after you've opened up/pursued a variety of methods to meet ppl/let go of some preconceived notions/worked on becoming a better you/etc etc...done ALL the things you're so-called "supposed to do".......
naw, that's a choice. it seems to be a hand that's been dealt.
and perhaps one that i should get used to.
i'm not much of a gambler...but the odds on this one aren't looking good for the Home Team.
so, i soak up what's around me.....the giddyness of my friend's new relationships....the comforting warmth of marriage, even with its ups and downs....
and return my cards to the Dealer...and leave the casino floor.
so, it's hard not to have that "left out feeling", a feeling cloaked in a blanket of simultaneous bittersweet admiration/excitement/happiness for my friends....and bummed-out feelings about my own situation.
i'm human....and definitely not boy-crazy, but desirous of something other than just being Mommy all the time...and frustrated with not seeing the fruit of all of the strides that i've made with respects to my approach to love (Trivial Pursuit notwithstanding).
i wonder if ppl who are struggling with infertility look at my motherhood and feel that same bittersweetness. but, i think that the comparison doesn't exactly fit because infertility isn't a choice and even with all of the medical marvels...sometimes our bodies just don't do operate in the way that we should.
singleness...with no prospect on the horizon...even after you've opened up/pursued a variety of methods to meet ppl/let go of some preconceived notions/worked on becoming a better you/etc etc...done ALL the things you're so-called "supposed to do".......
naw, that's a choice. it seems to be a hand that's been dealt.
and perhaps one that i should get used to.
i'm not much of a gambler...but the odds on this one aren't looking good for the Home Team.
so, i soak up what's around me.....the giddyness of my friend's new relationships....the comforting warmth of marriage, even with its ups and downs....
and return my cards to the Dealer...and leave the casino floor.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
you have the right to remain silent
....or do you???
--
so a couple of days ago, i was talking to my friend and fellow blogger (http://thelifeandtimesofsunshine.blogspot.com) about her desire to start a mentoring program..how she had been putting it off for a few years, but was finally going to start pulling the pieces together for the framework of her vision. we talk often about our upbringings, in particular our incredibly complex relationships with our mothers and how that has shaped who we are as women and as parents. we talk about what we wish someone had said to us way back when, and what we will say to our own kids. we also both agree how impactful the interest, encouragement, and love of a person can be on another person--in particular a young person--who may otherwise have had all of life's cards stacked against them. each one, teach one/paying it forward are both values that we strongly believe in, and try to practice in our everyday lives.
which sparked my thoughts and brings me to today's blog....
as we all relish in the moment that has certainly changed the course of history, we must say to ourselves--"ok, now what?" BO was able to win both the Popular and Electoral vote, foundationally, by running a grassroots campaign. knocking on doors, talking to ppl where they were, phone-banking, connecting with ppl on a one-on-one level through his 700 satellite offices. Those $7M+ votes that clobbered McC came not from fancy ads on television, six-figure suits, or nasty judgementalism. it came from a campaign of humility, compassion, empathy, and practicality.
what if we modeled our lives in that way and were "grassroots" in our approach? what if we took the time to reach out to a young person...or an older person....around us, that society has left behind? truth be told, ALL of us have made it through something: teen pregnancy, dysfunctional families, mental illness, sexual assault, financial ruin, drug/alcohol addiction, abusive relationships, being raised in the so-called "hood", etc...the list goes on and on. the truth also be told, many of us made it through these things not only with the help of God, but also with the help of His angels--ppl that shared their stories with us, embraced us, and encouraged us that we too could make it. let us not have 'made it' so far, that we lose sight of how we got to where we are in the first place.
as some of you reading this post know, i have a heart for young girls, specifically those in the pre-teen/teen bracket. i recently started working with our female Rites of Passage ministry at our church called Intonjane('coming into womanhood'), and i love it! as a teen girl who feels in many ways that she was 'left behind,' it is my goal to prevent that from happening, atleast to one girl. i want to reach out, mentor, and educate who i call "the Dunkin Donuts Girls"--the teenage girls i see everyday in the DD by PC's school: loud, FOUL-mouthed, angry, and obviously hurting--lacking guidance and wisdom about the ppl--the LADIES--that they were created to be.
maybe working with young ppl isn't your thing, but you most certainly have a "thing"--some way you can nurture/shape/encourage others. i challenge each of you to not let Pres BO feel the complete weight of the world of his shoulders. even after he is sworn in on the 20th of January, our inner-city communities will be still be in peril, our boys will still be under attack, our girls will still be lacking self-esteem, and the love of God will still need to be invoked for healing.
now that it's after the morning after....what will YOU do?
--
so a couple of days ago, i was talking to my friend and fellow blogger (http://thelifeandtimesofsunshine.blogspot.com) about her desire to start a mentoring program..how she had been putting it off for a few years, but was finally going to start pulling the pieces together for the framework of her vision. we talk often about our upbringings, in particular our incredibly complex relationships with our mothers and how that has shaped who we are as women and as parents. we talk about what we wish someone had said to us way back when, and what we will say to our own kids. we also both agree how impactful the interest, encouragement, and love of a person can be on another person--in particular a young person--who may otherwise have had all of life's cards stacked against them. each one, teach one/paying it forward are both values that we strongly believe in, and try to practice in our everyday lives.
which sparked my thoughts and brings me to today's blog....
as we all relish in the moment that has certainly changed the course of history, we must say to ourselves--"ok, now what?" BO was able to win both the Popular and Electoral vote, foundationally, by running a grassroots campaign. knocking on doors, talking to ppl where they were, phone-banking, connecting with ppl on a one-on-one level through his 700 satellite offices. Those $7M+ votes that clobbered McC came not from fancy ads on television, six-figure suits, or nasty judgementalism. it came from a campaign of humility, compassion, empathy, and practicality.
what if we modeled our lives in that way and were "grassroots" in our approach? what if we took the time to reach out to a young person...or an older person....around us, that society has left behind? truth be told, ALL of us have made it through something: teen pregnancy, dysfunctional families, mental illness, sexual assault, financial ruin, drug/alcohol addiction, abusive relationships, being raised in the so-called "hood", etc...the list goes on and on. the truth also be told, many of us made it through these things not only with the help of God, but also with the help of His angels--ppl that shared their stories with us, embraced us, and encouraged us that we too could make it. let us not have 'made it' so far, that we lose sight of how we got to where we are in the first place.
as some of you reading this post know, i have a heart for young girls, specifically those in the pre-teen/teen bracket. i recently started working with our female Rites of Passage ministry at our church called Intonjane('coming into womanhood'), and i love it! as a teen girl who feels in many ways that she was 'left behind,' it is my goal to prevent that from happening, atleast to one girl. i want to reach out, mentor, and educate who i call "the Dunkin Donuts Girls"--the teenage girls i see everyday in the DD by PC's school: loud, FOUL-mouthed, angry, and obviously hurting--lacking guidance and wisdom about the ppl--the LADIES--that they were created to be.
maybe working with young ppl isn't your thing, but you most certainly have a "thing"--some way you can nurture/shape/encourage others. i challenge each of you to not let Pres BO feel the complete weight of the world of his shoulders. even after he is sworn in on the 20th of January, our inner-city communities will be still be in peril, our boys will still be under attack, our girls will still be lacking self-esteem, and the love of God will still need to be invoked for healing.
now that it's after the morning after....what will YOU do?
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
afterglow
i am officially 100% a convert. after a long, political season, i felt my heart softening throughout the day yesterday towards the magnitude of the choices and the consequences of those choices to move this country forward. i could barely contain the lump in my throat that pretty much stayed put all day as i literally watched history being made: first, with the sheer numbers of voter turnout, many of which were first time voters...and secondly, when the returns starting pouring in and it became more and more apparent that our next President would be B.O.
President-Elect Barack Obama. it feels weird and good, all at the same time, falling from my lips.
i cried real tears last night--tears of victory, of joy, of thanksgiving. i cried when i spoke to my grandmother who lived through overt racism firsthand and who always instilled in me that i could be anything....ANYTHING...that i put my mind to. i cried as i watched PC sleeping on the couch--she won't understand what has happened until she is much older, but, in her lifetime, a Black president has been elected in a country where a scant 200+ years ago, we were considered 3/5ths of a human being.
and tho i don't have a son, i cried for all of my friend's sons and every little black boy (particularly those who are without fathers in the home) who can now look up to Barack Obama--a man whose father left him early in his life, but who was surrounded by a village that gave him the love and the encouragement that got him to this point.
Yes you can, be President, JJ. Yes you can, EE. Yes you can, K C-P. Yes you can, AR.
YES YOU CAN.
President-Elect Barack Obama. it feels weird and good, all at the same time, falling from my lips.
i cried real tears last night--tears of victory, of joy, of thanksgiving. i cried when i spoke to my grandmother who lived through overt racism firsthand and who always instilled in me that i could be anything....ANYTHING...that i put my mind to. i cried as i watched PC sleeping on the couch--she won't understand what has happened until she is much older, but, in her lifetime, a Black president has been elected in a country where a scant 200+ years ago, we were considered 3/5ths of a human being.
and tho i don't have a son, i cried for all of my friend's sons and every little black boy (particularly those who are without fathers in the home) who can now look up to Barack Obama--a man whose father left him early in his life, but who was surrounded by a village that gave him the love and the encouragement that got him to this point.
Yes you can, be President, JJ. Yes you can, EE. Yes you can, K C-P. Yes you can, AR.
YES YOU CAN.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
the debt
being the crybaby that i am, even in the midst of my conflicted political leanings, i still recognize this moment and this day for what it is. driving on the South Side this morning to drop off PC, i passed a polling place, and my eyes instantly-welled up with tears. OUR PEOPLE ya'll, many of whom prolly never voted before today, were standing in a (very) long line, waiting to vote. young, old, middle-class, working-class, homeboys from around the way, single moms just trying to make it.....all just waiting patiently for their God-given right to participate in the electoral process.
no matter the outcome, history has been made simply by ppl just showing up. they are predicting 80% voter turnout in IL--80%?!!! the likes of that haven't been seen since the early 70s, i'm told.
my friend and i have been talking about how proud her dearly-departed grandmother would be if she were here to witness this. i think about my great-grandmother who has also passed on...i also think about my maternal and paternal grandmothers who are still living, voted absentee, and are just chilling, waiting for their man Barack to win it all! never in their lifetimes did they think this day would come when a black man would even be an option...and yet here it is.
i passed an elderly lady as i was walking into the polling place. she was by herself, pushing a walker, with her Obama '08 button on her sweater, and a smile on her face. she moved slowly, carefully, but also victoriously.
we have much to be thankful for...our ancestors fought the good fight...and now, maybe, we will win the race!
no matter the outcome, history has been made simply by ppl just showing up. they are predicting 80% voter turnout in IL--80%?!!! the likes of that haven't been seen since the early 70s, i'm told.
my friend and i have been talking about how proud her dearly-departed grandmother would be if she were here to witness this. i think about my great-grandmother who has also passed on...i also think about my maternal and paternal grandmothers who are still living, voted absentee, and are just chilling, waiting for their man Barack to win it all! never in their lifetimes did they think this day would come when a black man would even be an option...and yet here it is.
i passed an elderly lady as i was walking into the polling place. she was by herself, pushing a walker, with her Obama '08 button on her sweater, and a smile on her face. she moved slowly, carefully, but also victoriously.
we have much to be thankful for...our ancestors fought the good fight...and now, maybe, we will win the race!
Monday, November 3, 2008
the lesser of two evils
so tomorrow is Election Day, and, if i can be so brutally honest, i will be G-L-A-D when it's over. not because i have already begun labeling someone--in speech and in print--as President So-and-So, but moreso because i am overloaded and weary of this whole campaign and the drama that has ensued and both my mind and my heart are like: Awright Awready!
my lack of fervor about this Presidential campaign has been an open secret that i've not really purposely kept from ppl, but also not shared openly unless asked. being someone who was always politically-minded/informed, majored in Public Admin in undergrad with hopes of working in the public sector and "saving the world!" (or atleast my little slice of it), my current lack of fire about it all has shocked even me.
my emotions have run the gamut throughout this campaign cycle. as most ppl who know me well, they know i am not a 'bandwagon' person--i don't participate in fashion 'trends' and instead buy pieces that will last for many seasons to come. i don't go ga-ga over many mainstream mega-stars (with the exception of Rhi-Rhi), and instead prefer to relish those that fly beneath the overrated/undertalented radar. this Presidential campaign has been no different. when it was between B.O. and HRC right before the primaries, i wasn't an automatic supporter just because he--B.O.--was who he was and that it was expected of me because of who i am. no. i decided to forego groupthink and really take the time to research the candidates and the issues...and i still remained conflicted as i sat in the voting booth.
it didnt help that both my now-retired Pastor and my beloved church were run through the ringer by the media in the spring of this year. the reputation of the man who led our church for 36 years along with the very essence of the church itself -- how it has impacted the community and shaped the world-- were tarnished by pundits and outsiders who never took the time to even sit down in our church and worship God--instead, they brought their camera phones, notepads, and concealed mini-tape recorders, hoping for the next big soundbite to try to run us even further into the ground.
and my heart broke then--and is still not completely healed--from B.O.'s ultimate denouncement of our former Pastor, and his departure from formal, active membership at the place where he married M.O. and both of his girls were baptized...where he, in fact, met Christ and was saved.
my beef isn't just with B.O. JMcC has his own share of issues that we won't even waste text-space on, the biggest of them being S.P. his lack of real, authentic concern about the least of these in society is what troubles me the most, as he rakes in his (wife's) million$ and Americans continue to lose jobs, retirement income, homes, and healthcare (if they ever had any to begin with).
for all of McCain's issues, there are a couple of things that i agree with him on--
*i am pro-life; i am certainly not protesting outside of abortion clinics trying to vilify hurting women who are in the midst of a complex & very painful decision...but, i also believe in the sanctity of life at conception (even moreso now that i am a mother)--and the responsibility of individuals to use sex for what it was intended for--within the confines of marriage...and, if they can't/won't, to exercise due caution in the form of birth control.
*i don't support re-defining marriage as between two ppl of the same sex. call me old-fashioned/closeminded/what have you, but i just don't agree. now, does that mean that i am standing on the corner with signs calling ppl the F word and telling them they are going to Hell? no. i don't believe in guilting ppl into anything, and scare tactics in the name of evangelism fail miserably every time--anotha blog for anotha day.
now, that's where my similarities with McC begin and end...but, it's not enough for me to feel 100% comfy voting for him, because those are 2 issues in a sea of 10,000 issues that affect me, those that i love, and those i have never met.
so, i stand here, less than 12 hrs before the polls in IL open, conflicted. conflicted about voting my conscience on sooo many levels that stretch wayyyyyy beyond gay rights, abortion, or TUCC. conflicted about the bombardment of B.O. assumptive-support propaganda that i have received throughout this entire campaign--i dunno if it was b/c i am Af-Am and folks just assumed i was involved in his campaign or what...but it came from somewhere because i have never announced my support for one candidate or another.
i stand conflicted because we are at a crossroads in history where, someone who looks like US could actually be the leader of the free world....but will NOT be the Savior of the World, as many (black) ppl have subconciously framed him.
i stand here having listened to a radio show where ppl were asked on the street why they were voting for B.O over McC; with the interviewer inserting McC talking points in his questioning, proving that these individuals, as they nodded and gave resounding "yes, that's why i'm voting for him!" had never once taken the time to really research the issues.
groupthink.
i stand here not saying that B.O. or McC are "evil" in the literal sense of the word, but that the choice for me is going to have to be give-and-take, covering my eyes/ears to certain things that i don't necessarily agree with on either side, in order to vote for the Greater Good...whatever that is.
i close today's blog feeling like a Political Blaspheme in the eyes of some, but not ashamed of my analytical nature and refusal to subscribe to the status quo, even with the words of Angela Davis and the ghosts of the Black Panthers haunting my thoughts and propelling me forward to be as quietly militant as i can be (power to the ppl, lol!)...
and to ROCK the vote....because the blood of my ancestors ran in the streets so that i could have that privilege.
may the best...or better...man win.
my lack of fervor about this Presidential campaign has been an open secret that i've not really purposely kept from ppl, but also not shared openly unless asked. being someone who was always politically-minded/informed, majored in Public Admin in undergrad with hopes of working in the public sector and "saving the world!" (or atleast my little slice of it), my current lack of fire about it all has shocked even me.
my emotions have run the gamut throughout this campaign cycle. as most ppl who know me well, they know i am not a 'bandwagon' person--i don't participate in fashion 'trends' and instead buy pieces that will last for many seasons to come. i don't go ga-ga over many mainstream mega-stars (with the exception of Rhi-Rhi), and instead prefer to relish those that fly beneath the overrated/undertalented radar. this Presidential campaign has been no different. when it was between B.O. and HRC right before the primaries, i wasn't an automatic supporter just because he--B.O.--was who he was and that it was expected of me because of who i am. no. i decided to forego groupthink and really take the time to research the candidates and the issues...and i still remained conflicted as i sat in the voting booth.
it didnt help that both my now-retired Pastor and my beloved church were run through the ringer by the media in the spring of this year. the reputation of the man who led our church for 36 years along with the very essence of the church itself -- how it has impacted the community and shaped the world-- were tarnished by pundits and outsiders who never took the time to even sit down in our church and worship God--instead, they brought their camera phones, notepads, and concealed mini-tape recorders, hoping for the next big soundbite to try to run us even further into the ground.
and my heart broke then--and is still not completely healed--from B.O.'s ultimate denouncement of our former Pastor, and his departure from formal, active membership at the place where he married M.O. and both of his girls were baptized...where he, in fact, met Christ and was saved.
my beef isn't just with B.O. JMcC has his own share of issues that we won't even waste text-space on, the biggest of them being S.P. his lack of real, authentic concern about the least of these in society is what troubles me the most, as he rakes in his (wife's) million$ and Americans continue to lose jobs, retirement income, homes, and healthcare (if they ever had any to begin with).
for all of McCain's issues, there are a couple of things that i agree with him on--
*i am pro-life; i am certainly not protesting outside of abortion clinics trying to vilify hurting women who are in the midst of a complex & very painful decision...but, i also believe in the sanctity of life at conception (even moreso now that i am a mother)--and the responsibility of individuals to use sex for what it was intended for--within the confines of marriage...and, if they can't/won't, to exercise due caution in the form of birth control.
*i don't support re-defining marriage as between two ppl of the same sex. call me old-fashioned/closeminded/what have you, but i just don't agree. now, does that mean that i am standing on the corner with signs calling ppl the F word and telling them they are going to Hell? no. i don't believe in guilting ppl into anything, and scare tactics in the name of evangelism fail miserably every time--anotha blog for anotha day.
now, that's where my similarities with McC begin and end...but, it's not enough for me to feel 100% comfy voting for him, because those are 2 issues in a sea of 10,000 issues that affect me, those that i love, and those i have never met.
so, i stand here, less than 12 hrs before the polls in IL open, conflicted. conflicted about voting my conscience on sooo many levels that stretch wayyyyyy beyond gay rights, abortion, or TUCC. conflicted about the bombardment of B.O. assumptive-support propaganda that i have received throughout this entire campaign--i dunno if it was b/c i am Af-Am and folks just assumed i was involved in his campaign or what...but it came from somewhere because i have never announced my support for one candidate or another.
i stand conflicted because we are at a crossroads in history where, someone who looks like US could actually be the leader of the free world....but will NOT be the Savior of the World, as many (black) ppl have subconciously framed him.
i stand here having listened to a radio show where ppl were asked on the street why they were voting for B.O over McC; with the interviewer inserting McC talking points in his questioning, proving that these individuals, as they nodded and gave resounding "yes, that's why i'm voting for him!" had never once taken the time to really research the issues.
groupthink.
i stand here not saying that B.O. or McC are "evil" in the literal sense of the word, but that the choice for me is going to have to be give-and-take, covering my eyes/ears to certain things that i don't necessarily agree with on either side, in order to vote for the Greater Good...whatever that is.
i close today's blog feeling like a Political Blaspheme in the eyes of some, but not ashamed of my analytical nature and refusal to subscribe to the status quo, even with the words of Angela Davis and the ghosts of the Black Panthers haunting my thoughts and propelling me forward to be as quietly militant as i can be (power to the ppl, lol!)...
and to ROCK the vote....because the blood of my ancestors ran in the streets so that i could have that privilege.
may the best...or better...man win.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
it takes a village
there are lots of parenting "guides" that have been written to assist parents in raising toddlers, but they pale in comparison to the Real Deal, in the flesh, ocassional knock-down, drag-out...umm...EVENT...that it is to raise a 2 yr old. my dear PC, bless her lil heart, just turned 2 and she is quite the little personality. goofball mixed with spice mixed with fierce independence, with a hint of "mommy, don't you go too far away!", you can imagine that we have a lot of fun....and a lot of challenges as well.
hanging out at a friend's house last night, PC threw a tantrum when she was told that she couldn't run through the house. she was extra-excited over Tay-Tay the Pug and alternated between giggle-fits and shrieks as she ran circles around a little puppy, who with the look of boredom on his face, could've cared less that this HumanChild was trying to play with him. in fact, if pugs could talk, i'm sure he would've said "and WHEN are you going home again?"
after being told for the 10,000 time to stop running/screaming/acting a fool, i threw up my hands in frustration. TeeTee intervened and consequently Ms. PC had a 15 minute sit-down-on-the-bed-and-chill-out crying fit, after which she emerged quiet, walking slowly, and with smiles, kisses, and hugs (gentle ones) for Tay-Tay and for her TeeTee.
that incident got me to thinking how thankful i am for my village and for the moms who have gone before me. these Mommyfriends help me along the way with suggestions, advice, an ear, a shoulder to cry on, and the most-coveted ocassional BREAK from Mommyhood. they've been there/done that/got the T-shirt with many of the issues that i struggle with everyday. from my friend whose son has food allergies and helped me to understand and find the right allergist when it turned out my PC had food allergies as well.....to my friend who was a single mom for many years before recently getting married--and hasn't forgotten where she came from....my friend whose son is almost on the brink of high school and she ain't THINKIN BOUT birthin' no more babies, but offered to do potty-training "Booty Camp" for PC....to my friend who recently told me that she struggled with (and overcame) Post-Partum depression and begged/commanded me to get my butt in counseling (no, i'm not depressed, but we ALL could use a little therapy)....
and everyone in between, including those of my friends who are not yet "moms" but have acted in that surrogate role and cared for PC like their own (shout out to my homies in StL and DC, among others).
i don't have any blood relatives here, but i do have many, many "chosen" family members who have embraced PC and i like a sister/niece and who i have no doubt love us like blood. they've been integral parts of this journey thus far, and i feel extremely blessed for their friendship and for their assistance along the way.
it truly does indeed take a village, and we are surrounded by some of the BEST that IL/DC/TX/FL/OH/MO/GA have to offer!!
hanging out at a friend's house last night, PC threw a tantrum when she was told that she couldn't run through the house. she was extra-excited over Tay-Tay the Pug and alternated between giggle-fits and shrieks as she ran circles around a little puppy, who with the look of boredom on his face, could've cared less that this HumanChild was trying to play with him. in fact, if pugs could talk, i'm sure he would've said "and WHEN are you going home again?"
after being told for the 10,000 time to stop running/screaming/acting a fool, i threw up my hands in frustration. TeeTee intervened and consequently Ms. PC had a 15 minute sit-down-on-the-bed-and-chill-out crying fit, after which she emerged quiet, walking slowly, and with smiles, kisses, and hugs (gentle ones) for Tay-Tay and for her TeeTee.
that incident got me to thinking how thankful i am for my village and for the moms who have gone before me. these Mommyfriends help me along the way with suggestions, advice, an ear, a shoulder to cry on, and the most-coveted ocassional BREAK from Mommyhood. they've been there/done that/got the T-shirt with many of the issues that i struggle with everyday. from my friend whose son has food allergies and helped me to understand and find the right allergist when it turned out my PC had food allergies as well.....to my friend who was a single mom for many years before recently getting married--and hasn't forgotten where she came from....my friend whose son is almost on the brink of high school and she ain't THINKIN BOUT birthin' no more babies, but offered to do potty-training "Booty Camp" for PC....to my friend who recently told me that she struggled with (and overcame) Post-Partum depression and begged/commanded me to get my butt in counseling (no, i'm not depressed, but we ALL could use a little therapy)....
and everyone in between, including those of my friends who are not yet "moms" but have acted in that surrogate role and cared for PC like their own (shout out to my homies in StL and DC, among others).
i don't have any blood relatives here, but i do have many, many "chosen" family members who have embraced PC and i like a sister/niece and who i have no doubt love us like blood. they've been integral parts of this journey thus far, and i feel extremely blessed for their friendship and for their assistance along the way.
it truly does indeed take a village, and we are surrounded by some of the BEST that IL/DC/TX/FL/OH/MO/GA have to offer!!
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