paying the cost...to be the boss.

as the year is coming to a close, i've been doing a lot of reflecting. i've gone through a lot of changes and transitions this year: job changes, parenting changes, friendship/relationship changes...and i've learned an awful lot about myself in the process. when you go into a new year, you never know what the year will bring, but you can always be sure that there will be many twists and turns to keep you on your toes. as i sat at home last new year's eve, having trudged home in heavy snow from service at church, i prayed that 2008 would be full of health and happiness, and that God would continue to be with me through both the triumphs and the challenges. i can confirm that He has been.

when i started this blog in August, i was in the process of evaluating my time and where i spend it. i had just started my new job and at that time, had NO idea how demanding and exhausting that it would ultimately turn out to be. i had decided to take a step back from my pink-and-green responsibilities to focus on some other activities. i began to make a conscious effort to take time for me and doing things that i enjoy--and so far, i think i've done a pretty good job at infusing [adult] fun into the sitcom that my life is on many days.

but, with everything there comes a cost.

a close friend and i have been talking through her frustrations and high stress levels in her role at her current job. she made the move to this job a year ago with the hopes that it would be a step onward and upward for her career advancement, and though she has gained a title and some more exposure--the costs of the job--on her personal time with her family and her sanity--have made her rethink if she made the right move.

in my current role, though i feel very, VERY blessed to have this position in an otherwise horrific economy (please don't get me wrong on that)...i am too weighing the costs on my personal time (separation of WORK and state does not happen often in my home, lol), and trying to figure out a way to balance it all.

ahh...the art of balance.

as a self-proclaimed busybody...i am ALWAYS on the go. whether it is running errands, going to meetings, attending church events, or simply hanging out with friends....my calendar is always chock-full of places-to-go and people-to-see. i enjoy being busy, not just for busyness' sake, but simply because each of these things that i am doing--i WANT to be doing...and those that i don't, i simply don't. i have graduated to not saying "yes" if i really want to say "no."

but, yet i find myself exhausted. and i look at the women around me, my homegirls: mothers/wives/girlfriends/career-women/sorors/volunteers/students, etc...

and there is a common theme:

we are all EXHAUSTED.

and though most of us have tried to simplify our lives as much as possible, i don't think that nirvana is ever reached in that area.

because, as one of my friends always says:

being a grownup is hard.

and, yet, we all wake up everyday (albeit off of very little sleep) and do it all over again--taking care of ourselves, our families, our extended families, and everyone else in between.

being EveryWoman to EveryBody.

but wearing ourselves out in the process.

i don't know what the solution is, and i have been brainstorming ways to capture that sweet, uninterrupted relaxation that always seems just out of our reach.

but, i pray that as we all continue to add item after item onto our neverending To-Do lists that we won't forget one important thing:

GET SOME REST.