bulletwound bandaids

on a listserv that i'm a member of, the topic of mental health--specifically, depression--came up as a hotly debated discussion thread this week. it was sparked by Oprah Winfrey's comments earlier this week about her weight reaching 200 lbs and some feelings of unhappiness/depression that she had in her own life. someone on this listserv made a comment to the tune of 'with all of the MONEY that O has, how could she POSSIBLY be depressed?,' which touched off a firestorm of ppl who couldn't believe that this comment had been made with any level of seriousness (it was). it acted as a confirmation of the still-lingering taboo of mental illness, especially in the Af-Am community, and particularly among Af-Am women, who are severely affected by this disease....and grossly undiagnosed.

i've touched on the topic of mental health in my blog before (see: get your mind right), and as someone who has benefited personally from therapy, and has seen the positive effect that it has had on others that i know, i am a fierce advocate for ppl getting help. no matter how much SOME of us smile on the outside, MOST of us are only one crisis/illness/tragedy away from falling into the abyss known as depression....a dark, sinking hole which can be conquered, but is extremely challenging to climb out of.

which brings me to the topic of today's blog. each of us has a soft spot in our hearts for something. most times these soft spots are borne out of our life's experiences--we might love animals because we grew up in a household with dogs, we may love children because we didn't have much of a childhood or were abused/neglected as a child. we might love shopping because perhaps we grew up poor and never had an opportunity to buy something nice for ourselves until we became adults. the list goes on and on. i have a soft spot for many things, but one area in particular is for hurting ppl, specifically women. because i have been (and sometimes still am) a hurting woman, struggling to make sense of it all...i can recognize that in other women, even when they cannot recognize it in themselves, and it pains me.

if more ppl (particularly women, but this goes for guys too) would be honest with themselves, they'd realize how they use things/ppl/behaviors to place a temporary salve on critical wounds. whether it's drowning oneself in food (i'm guilty of the Sorrowful Haagen-Daz Habit), alcohol, excessive spending, or meaningless sexual encounters with ppl we have no business entertaining--it is almost always a temporary anesthetic to a deeper injury. because you see, after the carton has been emptied of ice cream, the wine glass drained, the credit card swiped, or the orgasmic rendezvous completed--the emptiness is still there. the valley of depression still remains.

as we look forward into a new year and to all of the 'resolutions' and 'new year, new you' that we keep hearing...all of the catchy slogans (fine in '09, divine in '09, etc)...let us all make a commitment to get our mental health in order...in '09. just like our overall physical condition must be maintained in order for us to remain healthy, so must our minds/hearts. we must constantly do the work to remind ourselves of WHO and WHOSE we are--that we are loved by the Creator of this world and made in His image. that, painful situations are only temporary and this too shall pass. that someone always has it worse than us. that we are worth more than cheapening ourselves, our minds, our bodies, and our hearts by settling.

that there's nothing wrong with seeing someone (read: a therapist/doctor/spiritual advisor) when you just can't seem to shake the frown and the fake smile is killing you on the inside.

to quote Ne-Yo (can you believe it, lol?): we are TOO FLY to be depressed.