something TOLD me.....

another young woman lost her life this week...along with the life of her baby daughter...presumably at the hands of her on-again/off-again boyfriend. for those who are reading this blog and don't live in Chicago, Eddy Curry's mistress and father of two of his 6 children, was found murdered on Saturday in her home, along with her 9-month old daughter. her other child with Eddy (who is Chicago native/ former Bulls player, now playing for the Knicks), a 3 yr old was found unharmed, but covered in his mother and sister's blood.

EC isn't a suspect in this crime..but the girl's lawyer-come-boyfriend is. she had a restraining order against him after a 2007 attack, and according to family members, she was terrified of him due to his past behavior. somehow, someway, they were still entangled, and though he has not been formally charged, police are considering him a Person of Interest.

the sheer tragedy of the story is enough to make any person with a heart stop in their tracks: a young mother, brutally murdered along with her innocent BABY, as her toddler watches in horror. a woman who obviously made a less-than-favorable choice in this man as a lover, and potentially paid for it with her life. a senseless tragedy and lives destroyed all around.

and yet, the irony is....as the details of this story began to unfold in the news...i received a message from a friend that her coworker had briefly dated this guy a few yrs back...and within an hour of receiving that message, i received another from a Soror of mine who had met this man once in 2006 and ran into him again this past summer, both times with him trying to 'kick his game' her way.

what these two women had in common beyond being chatted up by the same suitor was the fact that BOTH of these women shut the dating situations down VERY early...because something about him JUST didn't FEEL right. both are understandly spooked by this current turn of events, and certainly thanking their Creator that their lives were spared.

i am not a fan of 'blaming the victim' so this blog is in no way an indictment that this woman..or any other woman who meets this unfortunate fate...brought it on herself. but, what these situation stirs up in my heart--with the same fervor that it did when Nailah Franklin was found murdered--is that we've GOT to start paying attention to/heeding our intuition.

i will be the first to admit that i haven't always been the best at discerning my intuition/God-voice from my own voice. as someone whose mind is always racing, i rarely have moments of pure quiet where i can truly hear what God is trying to tell me within my spirit. because my God knows me so well...he offers me TANGIBLE evidence of when it's time to exit Stage Left, because most of the time, that's the only time that i'll take heed (i.e. receipts, ticket stubs, background checks, etc). i have dated some 'interesting' characters in my day......ppl who were hiding whole relationships/criminal backgrounds/addictions/etc...... ppl that could win Academy Awards for how well they acted/concealed and wooed me. i consider myself to be very smart, very observant, and a skeptic about most things....but, i also know that, when it came to each of these relationships, i allowed the wool to be pulled over my eyes even when the signs were showing otherwise, and that's all on ME.

i know that i know that i know....that i am ALIVE today ONLY because of His grace.....as are many of my friends...it dang sure isn't because we made the best (or safest choices) when it came to bfs.

this horrible tragedy with this woman and her baby isn't the first, and it won't be the last....but my fervant prayer is that all of us, ladies especially but guys too...will really get to KNOW ppl and BELIEVE them when they show us who they are. ppl will show AND tell you who they really are, early on--and, God ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS gives us an out...it's written in the Scripture and I have seen it time and time again in my own life and in the lives of ppl I love. but, it's up to us to heed those signs, that feeling in your gut...that something that just doesn't sit right in your spirit.

i know that there are random acts of violence that happen to ppl daily that they have no control over...and i also know that even sometimes when ppl walk away from unfavorable situations, it doesn't prevent violence from occuring. but, again, i just implore upon all of us--singles, mothers (especially), wives, gfs, etc....to ask questions.....to LISTEN to the answers....and to not be afraid to throw up the deuces when it isn't right.

it isn't worth your life.