a Happy Heart

i just returned from an impromptu Retail Therapy session with a friend. i wasn't planning on doing any shopping tonight, but after my original plans fell apart due to sitter issues, i figured a couple hours of walking the aisles, picking up stuff i didnt need to buy and chasing PC after she got aggravated with sitting in the cart, would do me good. and, it did.

V-Day is upon us, and it was no more present than when i walked into our local Mega Retailer. barely 5 feet into the automatic doors, customers were bombarded with all things V-Day: candy, stuffed animals, cards, and other trinkets....enough to make one's head spin--and at rock bottom prices too! as i admired all of the goodies (and picked up a few things for PC's V-Day gift basket), i chuckled to myself....for all intents and purposes, i should've been feeling down based upon my recent struggles. you see, i don't have a Valentine, and the last time that i had one on Valentine's Day was in 2004, the year that I dated Young Tender. despite our age difference (yes, he was legal, LOL), that was, by far, my best relationship...and spending a long weekend in Nashville--sightseeing, having fancy dinners, and just hanging out, was my best V-Day. it's been pretty much downhill from there, LOL.

in all seriousness, i was able to chuckle to myself because i feel like my baby steps are working. sure, i don't have any romantic plans tomorrow night for dinner/dancing/gazing into some fine man's eyes. i am not expecting a flower delivery or a box of chocolates. all of my girlfriends have been giddy with glee all week telling me about their plans with their SOs, and i'll likely be on the couch watching a movie from Redbox and eating Chinese takeout.

yet, i have a Happy Heart.

i have a Happy Heart because of the Valentines that i DO have in my life:

• God, with His love that strengthens me on my worst days...and sustains me on all the rest.
• PC, whose unconditional love and joyful spirit bring such delight to me and to all that she encounters.
• My family as a whole, who never cease to be supportive and generous of heart
• My amazing friends, who allow me to douse them with my Love Languages of cards-for-no-reason, hugs, and an occasional sinful dessert or two

i'd be lying if i said that i didn't feel a twinge of "man, i wish i had something special or exciting to do with a Boo" tomorrow....so i won't. but, what i will say is that even though i don't, i am ok. i look forward to PC's face when she opens her gifts, my friend's reactions when they open their cards, and i even look forward to hearing all of the gushing about everyone's romantic evenings, after the fact.

i may not have a Valentine by the world's standards, but i certainly have much to celebrate.

to all of you: love you....mean it.

enjoy your V-Day.