maybe next year...

as i've mentioned in one of my previous blogs, Christmastime is my favorite time of year. beyond the religious connotations of the holiday, which are the most important--i just love all things Christmas--songs, foodstuffs, wrapping gifts, etc. unfortunately, as i've also mentioned in one of my previous blogs, i really wasn't in the spirit this year for a number of reasons, and i woke up on thursday feeling like it was just another day. yes, i have PC, and in many ways, Christmas is all about the kids, but PC had been given her gifts from me early (and some saved for when we got home today) due to our travel schedule. looking forward, as she gets older, i will take a cue from some of my friends who are parents and who live in another state than their family and let PC celebrate Christmas at OUR house, with her toys/tree/etc...and ask family to come to us. in that way, i can create a sense of normalcy and cultivate our own family traditions.

but, i digress.

after a harrowing weekend of cancelled flights, dropoffs/pickups/dropoffs, and hour-long waits at Baggage Claim, i can truly say--i'm glad to be at home, and in my own bed. don't get me wrong--i love my mama and 'nem and enjoy going home, but i can only take it in doses...and 7 days is quite a dose, LOL.

when i got back tonight, i was catching up on some news and reading a blog on the Sun-Times website. the blog is written by Lacy Banks, a local sportswriter (who is also an ordained minister) and is currently battling brain & prostate cancer, and end-stage congestive heart failure. in many ways, he has made a lot of headway in his treatment/recovery, and his blog chronicles his journey with wit, wisdom, reality (no sugar-coating), and a healthy dose of faith. the blog he wrote on Christmas Eve focused on how much he and his wife love the Christmas season, and how he refused to let Death win--no matter what the prognosis, this would NOT be his final Christmas.

his blog hit me like a turn of bricks. here i am, 3 days after Christmas, wishing that i had spent more time getting in the spirit--not only for me, but also for PC. everytime i watch her excitedly press the button on her singing Christmas Dog stuffed animal and wiggle her little body in time with the tune, i think about what i could've done differently...and i kick myself as i try to figure out a way to make Christmas-after-Christmas for her this week coming up, even if it means scouring the stores for clearance-rack wrapping paper and ribbons, and recreating the moments in our living room.

you see, as i plowed through my Bah Humbug-ness, i kept saying to myself---i'll do it better next year. and, if the Lord says the same, i WILL go all out next year for PC, family, friends, and for myself. i am not thinking morbid thoughts or anything like that, but we all know that life is fleeting....and none of us--no matter how healthy or 'together' we appear today, are promised tomorrow. with that in mind, as cliche as it sounds, we ought to live & love without boundaries, simply because of this.

for all of you who are reading this, i hope that your holidays were magical in their own special way. realizing that we are human and we're all going through things, i also hope that if the light of Christmas was somehow dimmed due to the trials & tribulations of life--that the glimmer of hope which exists in the statement this too shall pass, helps to add a little illumination to your New Year's path.

carpe diem.