i was hanging out with a friend tonite over chocolate chip cookies, humidity-laced late summer breezes, and the faint stirring of a sleepy two year-old strapped securely in her carseat. we were shooting the breeze about life, love, and the pursuit of JOY...and laughing, absolutely cracking up! some of the stories we shared, in looking back, were extremely painful at the time that we were experiencing them. but now, we're able to reflect, recount, and actually LAUGH. it is amazing what a few months/years, some time to reflect, and a clear mind will do for bruised feelings and/or broken hearts.
i'm one of those people who takes most things hard, both positively and negatively. uber-emotional and sensitive, it doesn't take much to empty my tear ducts...or to drive me into a depression-induced overdose on Black Walnut Haagen-Daz (i know, i know...i'm working on it). ask any of my close friends--i am the QUEEN of the OAP: Over-Analysis Paralysis, and if you let me, i'll analyze...and re-analyze....and re-RE-analyze the same topic over again until i feel that i've covered every inch of ground in an effort to understand how the HECK did that just happen?!
lucky for me, i've got a couple of folks in my life who will indulge my OAP...but only for so long. they will gladly exchange for hours on email, phone, or text about whatever woe i'm trudging thru, but will eventually say, "ok, KW, what's next? what is the solution?" ANNND, they impose deadlines.
surprisingly, these deadlines work pretty well for me. i give myself a set amount of days to vent, b*tch, moan, plot revenge (only kidding!..sorta, lol), cry, fuss, etc. after that set timeframe, i am to no longer participate in any of the aforementioned activities, with respects to said Woe. if i attempt to cross that bridge, my friend is supposed to gently, yet firmly, redirect me back on the Straight-and-Narrow. and, there's no cheating allowed--all friends are subject to the same deadlines.
some might say that this is placing artificial boundaries on grieving, but i disagree. of course, every situation must be evaluated on a case-by-case basis, but as for me, i think that i spend a lot of time & heart-energy dwelling on things that either don't deserve it..or don't deserve as much. my constant quest for closure prolongs entanglement, and what i have found is that true closure only comes from God, in His way, and on His timing. giving myself a deadline to work towards forces me to UN-dwell on stuff....and to move on, even when/if my questions remain unanswered. and, 100% of the time....as soon as i truly move on in mind, body, and spirit, i receive all of the answers that i ever needed.
i'd be lying if i tried to act like there weren't any leftover bruises...there are, and it may take some more time to heal completely. but, tonite, humor won! i was able to look at an otherwise painful, crazy, dramatic situation...and just laugh. and my homegirl helped me do that (thx Sunshine :)
laughter truly is the best medicine--make sure to fill your prescription...
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2 comments:
I love this blog...I love laughter! I love laughing and making people laugh. I will try to find the humor in everything...sometimes when people want to be truly pissed*smile* Rarely do I get truly pissed off...well my husband would think differently because he is my sounding board when I am to that point. When I am going through I try to continually say in my spirit...my mind THIS TOO shall pass! It seems bad now but this too shall pass...it hurts so bad but this too shall pass...I am so frustrated but this too shall pass and when it does a hefty dose of laughter is sure to follow...
The message here is to be encouraged. When we're weathering storms, it seems like it's the end of the world. But He always pulls us thru and then gives us friends to kick back, laugh and reminisce with. So no matter what is troubling you today, fast forward to a future humidity-laced night when today's drama will be nothing but a memory you laugh and shake your head at. :-)
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