motive-ation

i'll be the first to admit that i don't have the thickest skin. as i've addressed (and probably OVER-addressed) in some of my writings, i'm pretty sensitive. i'm proud to say that i'm not as sensitive as i used to be, but i'm still pretty mushy in some ways, and it doesn't take much to bruise my feelings, especially if you're close to me. to be a blogger, i'm learning, you've got to toughen up a bit. everyone won't always agree with what you have to say, and all of the comments won't be "pretty." but, the goal undergirding it all is to share, to inspire, to challenge, and to spark discussion, even if it gets to the point of agreeing to disagree.

while i want to do all of those things that i mentioned above, one thing i do NOT want to do is hurt people, close to me and otherwise. this is NOT what i've been purposed for in this forum, and i'll just as soon stop writing if it begins to veer off course of what i've been gifted by God to do.

monday's blog about the attendance of my birthday party was, by far, the blog that has incited the biggest reaction. as soon as i posted, i started receiving phone calls and emails from ppl, primarily feeling guilty, but also some were upset. i felt horrible because the purpose of the blog was not to call out any particular person/ppl or to make anyway feel a certain way, whether good or bad. the blog was meant to be about a FEELING, and not about a person. i spent a good portion of the day explaining my intentions with the posting, and making sure that everything was all good between myself and those that had reached out.

many of you who follow my writings everyday are close to me. we talk weekly, if not daily, and our conversations/interactions/triumphs/tragedies flip the writing switch for me--you are my inspiration! it is inevitable that you'll somehow end up in my blog--your five minutes of fame, i suppose, lol--but i am extremely careful to be discreet. i only use initials or nicknames for positive shoutouts, and anything that might be a little dicey, i try to be even more discreet and very vague in my descriptions. and, for those especially difficult situations, i will NEVER EVER EVER use this blog as a medium to address them, particularly if they haven't already been addressed in private. the onus on me in each posting is to focus on what He's teaching me thru the situation, and not the other person(s) that may be involved...and i hope that i'm doing that.

i went into this blogging journey with the commitment that i would NOT censor, meaning, that i would walk the walk of being transparent, even if it meant sharing some things about myself that are hard for me to face. i learned a long time ago not to be ashamed of where i've been, where i'm at, or where i'm going, and judging by the responses to some of my postings, they are accomplishing exactly what He wanted--that ppl know that someone else is struggling thru (and conquering!) the same things they are--you are NOT alone.

i welcome and appreciate your feedback, both positive and constructive. each of you, in your own way, make me a better person, a better writer, and most importantly, a better Witness. and, i hope that, in its own small way, me sharing the sometimes painful (-ly hilarious, lol) stories of my life, have inspired you that we're all in this thing together.

KW IS on her job (thanks, TI, lol).....