the definition of insanity

i have this pet peeve--i hate hate hate when ppl call other ppl "crazy." i especially hate it when guys use that term to describe women, like, "that chick was CRAZY because she_____." throw your tomatoes if you want, but male-defined "crazy behavior" as exhibited by a woman in love/like/lust is usually precipitated by said male acting a fool. hey hey hey--don't shoot the messenger....i'm not hating, i'm just saying, lol.

i digress.

back to crazy. sooooo, i hate that word but i found myself using it as an adjective this past weekend to describe someone/their behavior to my friends. i won't waste precious blog-time rehashing the gory details, but even for me, Ms. Don't-Call-Ppl-Crazy, this one took the cake. but, i still felt [slightly] convicted about it, so i'm gonna do my best to come up with another word for, well, crazy behavior.

again, i digress.

this whole issue with crazy got me to thinking about the definition of insanity. i'm sure you've heard it & lived it: doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. pretty simple concept, right? so why then is it so dang hard to stop the cycle?

i've come to the conclusion that i am insane..or, better yet, per the b*tch tendencies blog, i am a woman living with insanity. i have some bad habits, and i do some of the same things over and over expecting a different result and all i get are...the same dang-on results.

one of those things is procrastination. PC's first day of school is tomorrow..we have quite a long commute to the new digs, so i will be up at the crack of dawn to prepare myself, and her. it's 11pm and i should be asleep, but what i am doing? blogging, for one (which doesn't count, lol), and washing clothes. yes, i am waiting on the dryer to do its thing so she can have a nice, crisp uniform to wear in the morning. now, what's so bad about washing clothes at 11pm? nothing, except, i KNOW better. the first day didn't just magically appear on my calendar and the clothes didn't just decide to need washing. yet, even tho i had some other diversions/distractions, there was some level of procrastination on my part which serves as the inspiration for this late-night treastise.

and, again i say, i know better.

i claim to live my life by the carpe diem rule. i hate to see any minute of any day wasted, and it is extremely hard for me to sit still for more than a couple of hours at a time...or so it seems my issue with time management/procrastination knocked me over the head this past summer on an otherwise ordinary day. me and a homie were going back and forth all day about whether to attend a picnic. i really wasn't enthused about going and neither was she, but at 6:30pm (after the picnic had been going on since NOON), we decided to change clothes and go. needless to say, we didn't leave until after 9, and i still had a 40 minute ride back home....ANNND...i was leaving town the next day for a business trip and still. hadnt. packed. i told myself--i need to blog about this--before there was a blog! it was in that moment i realized how valuable one addl hour in the day would be, especially for occassional-time-wasters like me.

my to-do list of errands/phone calls/emails seems neverending and i tend to put them off until the absolute last minute--not because i don't necessarily have the time now, but because i think i'll have the time later...and, i'd rather do anything but deal with that to-do list right now. wrong answer!!

i've got to do better.

as my eyes get heavier, and i watch the clock, waiting for the minutes to tick by for the clothes to get finished, i dread the alarm that will go off in about 6 and a half hours. i know how tired i'm gonna be, and i have a full day of work and to-dos to complete tomorrow once PC is safely ensconced in school.

i have no one to blame but myself.

it's my own crazy fault :)

seize the day.