today is a national holiday. no, really. i KNOW you had to go to work and i KNOW both the Post Office and banks were open. but today was a very, very special day.
it was my birthday. i turned the big 2-8 today!
leading up to this day, everyone was asking me--what are you gonna do for your birthday? are you excited? how are you gonna celebrate? i didn't have much of an answer for them because for the last few years, my birthday has, by me, just been looked at as another day. don't get me wrong--i believe that birthdays are a big deal, and i try to make a big deal of other people's...but no one's ever made that much of a big deal of mine, besides maybe sending a card or a text. now, don't get me wrong--phone calls, cards and texts aren't meaningless--they are actually very thoughtful gestures. but, i've never experienced the [surprise] party or being whisked away on some romantic getaway, etc etc. you get my drift. and, when PC was born almost 2 years ago, she decided to make her debut 3 days after my bday, so now she is in her rightful place, stealing my shine :)
so, what DID i do for my bday?? well, to be honest with you, i woke up this morning feeling kinda blah. i've been under some considerable stress lately (which i've addressed in some of my posts), and it hasn't completely dissipated yet. between the hustle-and-bustle of my morning routine--getting PC ready/dropping her off, fighting rain and traffic on my way to my first client appointment, etc, i didn't think about it too much. 2 of my friends IM'ed me bright and early this morning--before the sun even came up--to tell me happy birthday, and that made me smile. but, what really got me was an email that my favorite cousin sent me, that brought me to tears in the parking lot of my first meeting.
she sent me a happy birthday email and told me that the verse that was on her heart for me today was a familiar one, Jeremiah 29: 11-13:
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
He isn't done with me yet...and i am still here. and i should be anything but blah, because everyday that i wake up and every year that passes, is another testimony to His divine purpose and plan for my life.
this past weekend, i thought about another 28 year old who left this world far too soon. her name was Nailah Franklin and she was 28 when she died last year. the anniversary of her disappearance and death is coming up very soon, and i know that myself and many of my girlfriends--none of whom knew her personally--grieved then, and still grieve for her.
.....she was 28 too.
and, so, i embrace this day, as it draws to a close, and i reflect. i reflect on the last 365 days of my life--the experiences, the people met along the way, the lessons learned, the triumphs, the tragedies. i think about my plans...and how God has intervened and made HIS plans play out perfectly in my life in amazing and unexpected ways! i think about being stronger, wiser, better, kinder, more patient, gentler, more forgiving, more courageous, more understanding, more compassionate--more of soooooo many things that i am proud of...and less of many things that i'm not so proud of.
and i look forward, seeking Him--His way, His thoughts, His timing, His will, His heart. i chase Him, to learn why He loves me so in spite of me, why He sends me on these "assignments," both spiritual and secular, why He says "No" and "Not right now"...why He has chosen me for such a time as this.
and i am grateful....looking in that rearview mirror for a final time, pulling back the throttle, and propelling myself forward into the next 365 days....
i gotta remember to fasten my spiritual seatbelt because it is sure to be a sometimes-turbulent ride.
i've been cleared for takeoff--thank you, Lord for another year, another day, another chance.
happy birthday to me :)
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Hey Hon, Number One!!! HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!! I'm so sorry i didn't call, the hustle and bustle of the day :(
At any rate, i just wanted to share that your favorite cousins scripture just bought me to tears too!!!! I just prayed (very literally-like right before i opened my email)on this. and i was coming from Jeremiah 31:33-35. in this passage God is speaking on how He is God and he has written His teachings in our minds and hearts, and how EVERY man knows of Him. How He has forgotten and forgiven our sins and wickedness. He speaks of his Great and Wonderous powers of Rising the sun and Waving the waters and how only He has that ability. So my prayer was one of Thanksgiving. Thanking Him for his forgiveness. Thanking Him for inserting Himself so neatly in my life so that i carry out His will without a fuss. And, finally thanking Him for this project i am currently working on. He gave me a vision of its greatness this morning. So i was thanking Him for my found purpose and my courageous spirit to undertake it since i KNOW, like i KNOW, that it has come straight from Him. Love you Girl and Happy Birthday to You and your baby girl, So-So!!!
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